Almost Five Going on Fifty
Here's a honest to God conversation I had with L'il Man on 12 minutes drive to pre-school today:
"Mommy, why do you call me Boo?"
"Because it means I love you you?"
"Why?"
"Well, it started because you were so pale as a ghost, I called you Boo as a baby."
"But, I'm not a baby."
"Well, people in Louisiana call people they love Boo too. I had a neighbor from New Orleans that called his wife Boo and she wasn't a baby."
"Oh, is Boo in Spanish?"
"No, it might be French-Cajun."
"Oh, is that Mexican?"
(Sigh) Everything that isn't English is Spanish to Li'l Man. Can you tell we came from California?
"No, it's French."
"Oh." Pause for a second while brain whirs like small computer.
"Mommy, are bats teeth sharp?"
"Yes, honey. I would imagine they are, but they use them usually for fruit sucking or eating bugs. They also might suck cows blood if they are vampire bats, but they never suck humans. Did you know they can eat as many bugs as how big they are? That would be like you eating a sandwich as tall as you are!" Can you tell I like bats?
"Yeah. They probably eat Five-Thousand-Eight-Six-Nine-Million-Two Million-Forteen-Twelve-Thousand, Two Hundred Milion-Forty-two-Six-Nineteen...." He continues his litany of numbers. It's apparent like any male of his species that bigger is better.
"Uh, maybe not that many." (pause) Little computer starts to whir again.
"Mommy, who made people live?" Seriously, not making this up.
"Uh, babies come from a Daddy's sperm and live in a Mommy's tummy," I say hopefully.
"No, not babies. How do all the people in all the world, how did they get living?"
Realizing I needed to come up with something, I say,"Some people think God made people."
"Who the heck is God!"
I tell C.G., "I should have said aliens. He knows what aliens are. Dang!"
C.G. says, "You mean aliens from Mexico--you know like they speak Mexican."
I guess there was nothing to do but laugh. After three kids and 10 years of parenting, we still don't know what we are doing.
"Mommy, why do you call me Boo?"
"Because it means I love you you?"
"Why?"
"Well, it started because you were so pale as a ghost, I called you Boo as a baby."
"But, I'm not a baby."
"Well, people in Louisiana call people they love Boo too. I had a neighbor from New Orleans that called his wife Boo and she wasn't a baby."
"Oh, is Boo in Spanish?"
"No, it might be French-Cajun."
"Oh, is that Mexican?"
(Sigh) Everything that isn't English is Spanish to Li'l Man. Can you tell we came from California?
"No, it's French."
"Oh." Pause for a second while brain whirs like small computer.
"Mommy, are bats teeth sharp?"
"Yes, honey. I would imagine they are, but they use them usually for fruit sucking or eating bugs. They also might suck cows blood if they are vampire bats, but they never suck humans. Did you know they can eat as many bugs as how big they are? That would be like you eating a sandwich as tall as you are!" Can you tell I like bats?
"Yeah. They probably eat Five-Thousand-Eight-Six-Nine-Million-Two Million-Forteen-Twelve-Thousand, Two Hundred Milion-Forty-two-Six-Nineteen...." He continues his litany of numbers. It's apparent like any male of his species that bigger is better.
"Uh, maybe not that many." (pause) Little computer starts to whir again.
"Mommy, who made people live?" Seriously, not making this up.
"Uh, babies come from a Daddy's sperm and live in a Mommy's tummy," I say hopefully.
"No, not babies. How do all the people in all the world, how did they get living?"
Realizing I needed to come up with something, I say,"Some people think God made people."
"Who the heck is God!"
We arrive at school and I dodge the question. When I get home, I tell CG we have seriously screwed up when our almost 5 year old doesn't know who God is. CG and I are religously conflicted, so we tend to fall back on teaching nothing.
I tell C.G., "I should have said aliens. He knows what aliens are. Dang!"
C.G. says, "You mean aliens from Mexico--you know like they speak Mexican."
I guess there was nothing to do but laugh. After three kids and 10 years of parenting, we still don't know what we are doing.
0 Witty Comments For Me:
Post a Comment