United States of Motherhood: Cheating B@tch

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Cheating B@tch

So we checked out the movie Eragon last night. The main hero, neatly acted out by young Edward Speleers, is quite the hottie. Yep, feeling slightly embarrassed as a thirty something that thinks a 19 year old is hot. Yet, he is. I predict we are seeing the next Brad Pitt in the making. Hopefully, he will make better choices than that cheater Brad.

Speaking of cheaters, I have set my Expedition's navigation system to a Angelie Jolie-esque voice. I love hearing the clipped, yet luxurious voice stating my directions. Yet, at times, around tall Seattle buildings, I suddenly realize I am being led in circles --all the while the cheating whore repeats "recalculating" over..and over! I want to scream, "you cheating bitch", but I don't want my kids to pick up that wonderful vocabulary as well--in reference to driving.

As it is, my kids recently discovered the word bitch has quite innocuous meanings. Yes, I drearily say, as I am falling asleep watching the Westminster Dog Show, yes, bitch is not always a bad word. And no, the people on the TV are in fact not swearing, but referring to a female dog. So for the next few days, I hear little voices in the back saying in testing voices, "Grendel (our female dog) is a bitch. B-I-T-C-H." Ack! Maybe I should just say the true definition of a bitch is Angelina Jolie.

P.S. The movie was okay. It seemed a rip off mix of Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Dragon Slayer. Another example of cheating for sure! Pretty unoriginal with underwhelming effects, but the kids liked it. I would call it matinee worthy, especially during the school break, but probably not worth the full admission and popcorn of $50 for our family of five.


Jim said...

I recently stumbled across your blog and I had to leave a comment about this post! My family of six (I'm the oldest of four boys, and then there;s my parents) we're seriously considering going to see Eragon on New Year's Day, but we had heard some iffy things ... and considering it really is like $50 to go see a movie, we want to see one worthwhile. So thanks for the review!

Haha, and you're kids heard the word bitch on the Wesminster dog show? Wow, and I didn't think anyone actually used the innocent meaning when saying the word anymore! Have a good day!

Beau said...

Don't forget the shameless stealing from Star Wars - about a farm boy raised by his uncle and the weird old guy who is waiting for the legend to return.

Kind of makes me wonder if we are going to run out of original thought soon.

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