EEETTT'S A-LIIIIVVVVVVEEEE

So, after spending a couple hours corralling and coaching 5th Graders with the urge for self-mutilation by cutting cardboard with dull pocket knives and hacksaws with their _____ (insert word: leg, finger, friend's neck) underneath said cardboard with myself having no affinity for power tools and electric staple guns, I crashed hard time.

I had made a promise to myself to not coach Destination Imagination this year. Last year, it somewhat sucked the life out of me. And yet, I found myself subbing for my eldest's new coach who had the flu. She's also a good friend or else, I would have laughed in the face of anyone who asked me to coach again. Anyway, it went well and we are 1/10 closer as a team to being slightly prepared for the competition next week. Ack! Again, so glad I am not the full time coach.

Swim practice was cancelled for the afternoon, so after homework, I capitulated to son #1 working on his science fair a.k.a. "Slime From the Black Lagoon" project. I grabbed a glass of wine and retreated to the family room. I did insist beforehand on a plastic tablecloth when I heard that he and his lab assistant minions (PB & L'il Man) otherwise known as Eygore #1 and #2, planned to use blue food coloring and a gallon of Elmer's glue.

I also suggested that the experiment be recorded for actual science fair productivity on actual paper--CG Replicant/Eldest/Dr. Frankenstein thought he would remember all the variations of borax, water, and food coloring from memory. This would be the same memory that constantly forgets essential books for homework and can't seem to hold a thought for more than 30 seconds when it comes to cleaning the ______ (insert word: his hell-hole of a room, the disaster of the play room, the dog-poop laden backyard which specifically is his job).

Anyway, through my "fuck it, the house is a disaster, I don't care what they do in there" attitude, I hear manical laughter. Eldest says ih his best accent which is quite good, "I am a real Mad Scientist. I am genius!"

Why, do you ask, does he says this?

"What makes me a true mad scientist? I have a mechanical pencil!! Ah-ah-ah!"

Um, okay! Like his father's irrational love of mechanical pencils, I didn't have the heart to tell him that, "No, sweetheart, that makes you a geek."

As if there was any doubt, CG and CG Replicant are DEFINITELY related. Yep!

'lisciously scribed by Scout's Honor @ 8:02 AM