Bloody Hell!
After bowling, I went to Costco yesterday to fill up on gas for my SUV (Soul-less Undulating Vaporizer of the Earth's resources). I also brought the gas can, so I could continue mowing the lawn. It has pained my OCD being to have started diagonally mowing the front lawn, only to run out of gas 1/3 of the way through. Eighty-nine dollars later, we were all filled up.Then, since the Easter Bunny Pirate promised a honest to goodness cedar play set (the Pirate said the 'Rents would get it at Costco--How's that for procrastinating on the Easter baskets!) at the end of our Treasure Hunt, the kids and I went to check it out. Let me preface this information with the fact that I had no intention to buy anything. A few minutes into the parking lot, I realized the Safeway man had shorted us a few items such as HE Tide, olive oil, and Basmati rice. So, I thought innocently, I will pick up a few things.
Famous LAST WORDS.
Three Hundred Twenty-Four American Dollars later, I leave with a cart of groceries. What the BLOODY HELL! I hate gambling, never got into drugs, but have a COSTCO addiction. Seriously, I think I need help. Are there 12 step programs for Costco addicts?
Why on Earth did I need to buy:
- 2 more tubs of Greek yogurt
- A Shit-load of plums
- 1/2 Flat of strawberries
- 25 Limes
- 48 Pudding Cups
- FORTY-FUCKING-EIGHT hot dogs
- THIRTY-TWO hot dogs buns
- 2 varieties of hamburger buns
- Chardonnay (I don't even like Chardonnay)
- Rose Fertilizer for roses I haven't even planted yet from my last Costco excursion
- Oh yeah, the Tide, olive oil, and Basmati rice
- Chili
- Powerbars
- 8 Cans of Tuna
- $12 canned Crab Meat
- Red Peppers (I already bought some from Safeway, but Costco's are better)
- A case each of Coke and Diet Coke
- A GALLON of Jamaican JERK marinade
- A dozen bagels
- A bike helmet
- Shorts for CG that he hated
- Two dozen ball point pens that I'll lose in a week
- A case of chocolate milk boxes, and it keeps going on and on.
Again, had no plans to shop yesterday. I already had a burgeoning refrigerator and freezer with $350 from Safeway that SAME day. Did I mention I bought myself some "HOT & CRAZY:"
Yep, this is a problem. I'm not sure what award I should get for this. Maybe Hoochie Mama Don't Trust Her with an ATM Card Mommy of the Year Award:
Yep, that's me -- Hot & Craz-z-z-e-y
3 Witty Comments For Me:
25 limes?
Clearly you had a serious subconcious need to make caipirinhas!
Ohhh, those are yummy too. We had some great ones of those at the Mojito cafe in Seattle, but really the limes are for Beau's bitchin' Mojitos. I know Mojitos are supposedly passe, but I love them, easpecially when Beau adds 4 ounces rum per glass and fresh mint from our garden. Hmmm.... Okay, Mojitos might be another addiction.
Yes, I think you do have a Costco addiction.
Maybe you could exchange the Hot and Crazy for some Hott and Bothered. I can help you with that. :)
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