High School Inadequacy: Peeping Tom Mommy
After the kids and CG were tucked into bed, I went exploring on the web last night. Yep, my night owl self stayed up until 3:30 AM last night. Surely, you ask, I did something of value with all those quality hours of solitude?
Err, no. I checked out Classmates.com. They are having a deal where finally you can read all your previous high school and college classmates bios and see pictures--for FREE. I was magnetised. What ever happened to this person? What about that girl? I do admit that my memory must be going because I don't recall half of these names listed as graduating high school with me. I think I ended up looking up every person who had a bio or better than that, photos. I just couldn't stop. I realized afterward that every time I visited, the person would be alerted that I had visited. Yep, caught in my curiosity like a cat in a trap. I'm sure, some of the people will come back to their bio and think, who the heck is she? I felt like a peeping tom.
As I perused photos, I saw how my classmates had aged and how weight had been put on. Just like me I thought. I loved the pics of kids from people I never saw as parents. My thoughts moved to an older sister I have. She had mentioned she thought it would be great for her husband to go to his 25th reunion. You see, they are expecting their sixth child and her husband was the football jock who loved to party. Get out! :) I hope there are anomalies like that in my graduating class. Sadly, I have never made a reunion to see for myself. I have never been interested in flying in for reunions and there might be a little chicken in me. Silly!
Then, I added pics to my bio because I realized how proud I am to be where I am. I never thought in high school that I would be a SAHM of three. I never thought I would join the military before that. I never thought I would self-finance a college degree at Cal and be the first person in my family to get a college degree. I never thought I would find the perfect guy for me. Overall, life has turned out not at all what I thought I wanted, but exactly as I needed.
There is still something in me that wants to have a career or at least get started on my law degree before I run into any old pals. Yep, there's still that high school feeling of inadequacy, but I am working on it. The best part of it all was that I found the bio of a good friend that graduated a year before me. It was nice to read what she was doing. Somehow we lost contact right before I graduated college and got married. I sent Christmas cards for years to her parents house with no response. I was starting to believe she left the country or was dead. Turns out she is working on an MBA in the Bay Area.
So, this is how classmates gets you. I have to join and pay the annual membership fee to get her email address-with no guarantee that it is current. Arrggh. Too cheap and too chicken that she wouldn't want to get in contact with me. Yep, high school inadequacy!
4 Witty Comments For Me:
What a wonderful post. I have been petrified to even consider going to any of my reunions. Amazing how pivotal that memory can be
Isn't it?! It's funny how that short four years sticks with one seventeen years after the fact.
I would be exactly the same! When I went to my 10 year reunion....(in 2001) I was PETRIFIED! While I had many wonderful friends in high school, it does not rank in the top of my childhood memories!
The "ice breaker" party was held at a local Mexican restaurant/bar. About thirty minutes into the party, my husband alerted me to the fact I had DOWNED three margaritas. Honestly I was so nervous...I didn't even notice! :) Needless to say the night was interesting when the liquid courage kicked into overdrive! (hee-hee)
As for the people knowing you looked thing....I can top that. I was nominated for a Blogger's Choice Award, so I thought I would sneak and vote for myself. (Yeah, I'm a loser like that!) Lo and behold RIGHT after I voted, I realized your picture shows up underneath the vote! So now the entire blogosphere can know what a loser I am! :) See, don't you feel better?
That's brilliant! Good for you for voting for yourself. I would have too--or at least got my husband to do it for me.
The cocktails are my classic coping mechanism too. I went to a formal ball for my husband's company. I knew next to no one, so what did I do? Definitely, used that open bar and free-flowing wine at the table generously. I barely made it to the car.
Isn't it difficult to make a good impression through an alcohol stupor!? :)
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