Euphemisms for my Womanly Blossom

I love my Google Desktop Search Side Bar. It tells me the weather. It feeds me interesting feeds from websites and news sources I frequent. And, until yesterday, I loved the photo portion where it randomly played pictures from my digital pics catalog. I never know what precious photo will turn up or which memory would be evoked. Eldest at six months giggling for the first time documented on film. PB with two precious pearly whites. Li'l man chewing a board book with twinkling blue eyes.

Let me preface this with the fact, as my butt widens by the second as I sit at swim practice after swim practice, my laptop is my trusty sidekick. Quite a few of the pools have wireless access or are in close location to a public library. So, often, there I sit in the stands, plinking away on my keyboard where I forget about my sidebar.

Yesterday, however, as I plinked away and people milled about, what should show up on my Google Side Bar, but a few select pictures from Li'l Man's birth. You know where I am going with this, don't you? Yep, they were full on crotch shots of my vagina.

Sidebar here: Do you think my website will now get an "X" rating 'cause I said 'gina again? Never knew the medical term for my coochie coochie would be worse that calling it say my cookies, box, hair pie, kitty, beaver, poot, bearded clam, poontang, fish taco...I am now enlisting CG to come with these because he knows more names for a 'gina than I ever will and I have one. I guess it's my mormon upbringing that shielded me from the usually vocabulary knowledge of body parts. CG has quite a few words at his avail for his own parts as well. Sometimes I feel like Pollyanna, because he starts referring to his parts and I thinking he's talking about dinner.

Back on topic, so there I was flashing everyone, as pervy as a laptop can get with a crotch shot of a baby bulging out my hoo-haa. First, I do recall asking the photographer in the labor room for no shot below the waist to be taken, and yet, they were taken. I should have deleted the pics that showed anything, but I just never got around to it. In CG's defense, he wasn't the offender, just related to her. Let's just say the title of the person who took pictures below the waist ends in "...in-law." My mother-in-law would be an incorrect answer. Keep guessing. You'll figure it out! Arrrrgh!

Anyhoo, faster than I have ever keystroked, I minimized that window in my sidebar.I don't like looking at my kitty, much less showing it to the world in it's most vulnerable state about to blow a 10 pounder. Yep, Li'l Man was so large, the geography of my nether regions and it's neighboring bladder was forever more changed a few minutes after that pic was taken. Sigh.

CG reassures me that the pictures only circle up for about 15 seconds each. Reassuring. So maybe only 5-6 people saw my beaver. Great! Perfect! Just cheesy!

'lisciously scribed by Scout's Honor @ 2:05 PM