United States of Motherhood: Worry Warrior

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Worry Warrior

I have been having nightly nightmares. I can't sleep most nights. I have been haunted by a local story of a little girl who was snatched from her own back yard, sexually assaulted and killed. Her father heard her scream and saw the killer drive away. He will probably be haunted the rest of his life with scenes of that car driving away, knowing his beautiful daughter Zina Linnik was alive in that vehicle. If only...

This monster was a prior sex-offender and possible illegal immigrant. Illegal because a municipal court assault charge that was unrelated somehow fell through the cracks. It turns out his last residence was a home directly across the street from a elementary school. It turns out that 60 days of jail with 60 months of sex-offender treatment after violently RAPING his 16 year old niece before this, didn't take. Now, it turns out he was living in the neighborhood where another little girl was raped and murdered last year. And he's a suspect in the rape of yet another 11 year old in Fort Lewis.

When will this stop?! When will liberal politicians realize that sexual predators are not able to be rehabilitated through counseling? A judge found in 1997 that Adhahn had completed sexual-deviancy treatment after a so-called counselor found that he showed, "significant improvement in sexual arousal and can control his deviant thoughts." What do you think the Linnik family thinks about his "control?"

When will liberal politicians realize that immigration isn't a right to give to criminals? They now suspect this immigrant has been killing children across the country. Apparently, even after his first incest conviction, the law didn't require deportation because it's not an "aggravated felony." Rape of a 16 year old niece isn't aggravated? He had pled it down to "incest" which is a crime of moral turpitude. Apparently the law doesn't allow grounds for deportation for one conviction of such a crime for immigrants legally in the country for five years. What the fuck! They get a second chance at sexually harming someone before we deport these bastards? We give them another shot at our kids!? In all, he is suspected in five similar crimes across the country. Turns out he was in the military and traveled the country. This makes me so sick that our military is so desperate as to have employed and trained this pure evil to "protect us."

So he's being held now for "immigration violations," and might possibly be charged with failure to register as a convicted sexual offender. My question was where was the supervision? Where were the parole officers? How did he slip through the cracks? We know these guys go back and do it again and again, especially after being caught once with a slap on the wrist, they learn to leave behind no witnesses. We need to simply treat sexual crimes with the death sentence. This is the only way to get these people off the streets. Studies show that they escalate. Having more than a few sexual predators in my own family, I know this to be a fact. They are not curable. Hell, throw them on an island, far from children and let them go medieval on each other. Heck! We put down pit bulls just for their potential ability to harm children is some states and yet we give these predators rehabilitation and multiple chances for actually doing harm? Something needs to change. Laws must change.

I know some people seek to shield their children from this horror. I say this is a disservice. I have spoken with my kids about the dangers of strangers AND of people they know. They know never to enter a car without my express permission. My kids have cell phones. My seven year old has a cell phone to call before she can accept a lift from a neighbor home from school. Most times, my kids simply refuse to get into the car with the neighbor or friend. And I have taught them that this is okay! Possibly hurting someone's feelings is way better than the risk.

My Eldest knows about my nightmares. They reoccur often and usually involve one of my children being taken and murdered while we are in public places like a swim meet or a park. The horror is replayed over and over in my sleep as I search madly for my children. Once awake, I then walk around the house checking each child multiple times as well as checking locks on doors and closing windows. My heart leaps when I find their beds empty, only to find one was snuggled next to another in a bunk bed. My kids, especially in summer, play musical beds.

My Eldest asks, while we are driving in the car, why I worry so much? I tell him it's my job and it's in my very being to protect him and his siblings. I tell him I would beat anyone to the ground, stab, kick, claw, bite, disentrail, disembowel to protect them from anyone who would do them harm. At eleven, he seems a bit shocked. Then I tell him he must do the same if someone tries to take him or his brother or sister.

He ask,"Mom, what if they have a knife?" I tell him to run, no matter what. If they are willing to show you a weapon in public, what will they do with that knife when they have you all to yourself?

He asks, "What if they have a gun?" I tell him I have trained with M-16s and Berettas. I was an expert at M-16s and a sharp shooter with the Beretta. Even with that training, it is very hard to hit a moving target without daily practice. Your odds are better to run than to ever get in a car with someone brandishing a gun. Almost cruelly I tell him even if the monster is a good shot, it's better to die there fighting than it is to be subjected to the sadistic cruelties and torture that happen when they have you alone before they kill you anyway. If they would kill you there, you can bet they planned to kill you later. He tell me in his still innocent Star Wars way, "Oh, so I should take evasive action." Yes, my son, if the time ever comes, please, take evasive action. I silently pray that never happens.

In the meantime, I am blunt with my kids. We talk about defense and where to hit them first. My kids know some pretty cool Jujitsu moves that can at times bring considerable harm to CG when play-fighting. I also don't discourage our 90 lb. dog from taking instant dislike to anyone who makes me or the kids squeal. He generally hates men because you see my dog was abused before he came to us. He knows what it feels like and will protect my kids just as I would. I don't however protect them from my worries. Protecting them from the idea of evil does little to protect them from being taken by that same evil. I will risk giving my kids nightmares to living the Linnik's nightmare any day.

I tell CG I had the same dreams again last night and walked my nightly routine. I recall my mother had the same routine. She would scare the bejeezus out of friends that were sleeping over in her nightly check ins.

Eldest pipes in again, "Mom why do you have so many bad dreams?!" I tell him there are worriers and then there are warriors then there are moms --Worry Warriors.

I dedicate this post to Zina Linnik. Feel for her family, give to her memorial fund and get angry at your legislators for failing to protect yet another child. Write a letter now. Let's force this on the national agenda and make forceable sexual assault of a child a federal crime punishable by capital punishment.

The Tacoma Police Department. has set up an account for Zina Linnik's family at TAPCO Credit Union. For more information, www.tapcocu.org or 253-565-9895.


Ferbit said...

I'm so glad you posted this. I am the same way. I have nightmares of my girls being taken. Mostly like being taken in a grocery store or a crowded place. Not EVERY night, but several times a week I dream about stuff like this. Then I too walk the hallways to check on them in their sleep.

Even at 3 and 4 years old, I have been very blunt with them too. We've talked about this a lot. And anytime there is something happening in the news related to kidnappings, I bring it up in an age-appropriate way. We've had so many discussions about what to do if a stranger tries to take them, etc.

It makes me sick that I don't know self-defense. As soon as both girls are old enough, I want to enroll them in Aikido classes (me too).

Hubby is a pretty good shot, but I'm not. Just one more thing I need to find the time to get better at. Where on earth will I find the time to fit all this stuff in????? LOL

I love that all of your kids have cell phones at such a young age. I plan on doing the same thing when mine are old enough.

Great post.

Woman with kids said...

I think sharing your fears with them, while providing them with the tools to deal with such a situation, is a good idea. You're not just scaring them with the horrible things out there, you're making them aware and providing them with knowledge. The boys and I have gone over that too; you run, you yell, you fight as best as you can.

This poor little girl and her family though, my heart goes out to them.

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