Bloody, Bloody Gas Guzzlers & Gaming Woes
Yesterday, I visited my favorite budget buster, Costco, once again. It's been one of those months where I spent more at Costco that some third world countries pay for educating women.
Ack! Usually I would laugh at my joke, but all I feel like doing is cringing. You see, I caved. It's Eldest's birthday coming up and I did what I said I would never do. I forced CG to make a marital promise to never do what I did. Yep people, I caved chose to be nominated as the most perfect mommy in the whole wide world by purchasing a Wii.
Ack again! I'm still cringing. At least, I try to convince myself that the kids have to stand up and move around. It won't contribute to childhood obesity. It may suck most of the gray matter between their eyes out their open, drooling mouths, but hey, they won't get fat!
After rushing down to get one of the last three machines (a whole pallet had been delivered that morning--damn, this machine is still hott!), all the young adult Costco checkers coveted it. One twenty-something lovingly stroked the package.
"Ohh, I want of those!"
"Me too!"
One checker, sensing my pain and hypocrisy at buying this device of evil, assured me that her friends come in to work sore all the time . She always thinks it's a night of drinking. Nope, she said, they were sore from bowling on the Wii all night.
See, I am saving my children from irresponsible binge drinking by getting this Wii. Who knows?
PB could have turned out like Lindsay Lohan!
Eldest could have taken Robert Downey Jr.'s rocky path. Yet, I super mommy, have saved the day. I deserve a freaking medal. I am a freaking hero!Eldest has thanked me at least six times in the past hour. Boy howdy is he happy. Boy howdy, I feel like a dingleberry.
Coupled with this purchase, I filled my gas guzzling SUV with $80 of gas yesterday. We then went on our merry way to shop for school supplies and clothing. When I came out to the parking lot after spending a small fortune, we drove on to Target. I suddenly realized my full gas tank registered only 1/4 of a tank. What the fuck!
I suddenly remember that I have heard people have been siphoning gas in the area. Shit! I called CG to lament about the injustice and the feeling of being violated. I was incredibly pissed and let everyone in Target know as I moaned into my cell phone.
We purchased yet more supplies with lots of swearing about the ridiculous school supplies list and the ever-elusive 12 count crayons. Ten? Yes. Sixteen? Yes. Twelve? No where to be found at either Target or Staples. Then, off we went with a car full of sharpies, anti-bacterial wash, and Crayola goods up the whazoo, but sadly not full of gas.
But wait! What? My gas gauge suddenly registered 3/4 of a tank. Then it went back to 1/2. What the heck? Realization dawned that my gas WAS NOT siphoned. My gas gauge was just broken. What relief! What satisfaction. Why is it I felt more upset about someone stealing $60 of gas from me than the possibility of hundreds of dollars to repair my car? Who knows! I never claimed that I was a logical person.
5 comments:
I'm sure that at somepoint in our future there is drunk Wii-ing to be done. That would make me sore...
But they don't seem to be standing up much. You and I were the only standers - it seems like there is a lot of couch playing going on...
The binge drinking game on Wii hurts your wrist and your liver. It's awesome.
It would have been too much to have to buy more gas on top of all of that. At least you can ignore the broken gauge until your bank account recovers from the Wii.
We don't have a Wii and we aren't getting one soon. We are kinda lame. Julia is only 3, so if a Wii purchase were made, it would obviously be for Dave and me. And we don't really need it. Making Microsoft Sam say "fuck" is entertainment enough for us. That was funny for hours. No wait...it is still funny.
Leslie
If you think making Microsoft Sam say fuck is fun, you should check out AT&T Labs Text to Speech. It's got voices and different languages.
I spent at least an hour making crude, crass and funny conversations. And the best part of it is, you can download them, too! You could have some hunky guy saying, "It's your husband on the phone. Should I stop rubbing your back?"
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