I would like to thank you for the copious bumper stickers with which you have decorated your delicious SUV.
I appreciated the reading material while being stuck with melting ice cream, bored kids, and wilting salad bags in the Costco parking lot queue.
Also, without these, I would never have known the vital information that you LOVE surfing (although you must not get much play in SEATTLE); you heart Hawaii; surfer girls do it better; you heart Jerry bears, the Grateful Dead, and Harley Davidson.
Even your license plate made reference to your love of surfing. Gee, without that, I really wouldn't have been sure if you really like surfing.
You even were so original as to put that humdinger, "Mean People Suck" and the Darwin Fish on the back. Wow! It's great to know you through your bumper stickers. I haven't seen this many since walking on Telegraph Avenue.
In all, I counted over 50 stickers. The best was by far the "Visualize Using Your Turn Signal." I considered writing you a thank you note for chastising all those inconsiderate Seattle drivers out there. That one was priceless:
I almost missed it as you suddenly turned left--without using
your @#$%R#$%^& signal.
As I went around your hypocritical rear-end, I saw I had missed the pleasure of even more original stickers on your side.
May I suggest another more appropriate one about people in glass houses?