United States of Motherhood: Surfing Over Glass Houses

Friday, August 10, 2007

Surfing Over Glass Houses

Dearest White Tahoe Driving Mommy in the Issaquah Costco parking lot,

I would like to thank you for the copious bumper stickers with which you have decorated your delicious SUV.

I appreciated the reading material while being stuck with melting ice cream, bored kids, and wilting salad bags in the Costco parking lot queue.

Also, without these, I would never have known the vital information that you LOVE surfing (although you must not get much play in SEATTLE); you heart Hawaii; surfer girls do it better; you heart Jerry bears, the Grateful Dead, and Harley Davidson.

Even your license plate made reference to your love of surfing. Gee, without that, I really wouldn't have been sure if you really like surfing.

You even were so original as to put that humdinger, "Mean People Suck" and the Darwin Fish on the back. Wow! It's great to know you through your bumper stickers. I haven't seen this many since walking on Telegraph Avenue.

In all, I counted over 50 stickers. The best was by far the "Visualize Using Your Turn Signal." I considered writing you a thank you note for chastising all those inconsiderate Seattle drivers out there. That one was priceless:

I almost missed it as you suddenly turned left--without using
your @#$%R#$%^& signal.

As I went around your hypocritical rear-end, I saw I had missed the pleasure of even more original stickers on your side.

May I suggest another more appropriate one about people in glass houses?

No Sarcasm Here,



Eve said...

what is it with me and sarcastic bloggers? Can't help but be drawn to them...I found yours through Seattle Mom Blogs...your bio was intruiging. Thanks for the laughs. I really do heart surfing. And there is some to be found up here. But you have to be REALLY grizzly to handle it.

Scout's Honor said...

Hey eve,

Me sarcastic? No way!

Surfing in Seattle? Are you talking about those fools on Lake Washington being pulled by motorboats? We have a frioend who is a trauma ER surgeon and oh the stories he tells about watercraft injuries...grizzly!

Thanks for visiting.

Ann(ie) said...

heeeheeeeeeeeee! I'm a sucker for sarcasm, to! I found you via Broke and Angry and the Seattle mom blogs and I love finding me a local blogger peep. I'm very familiar with that insanely crowded Issaquah Costco parking lot. At the very least you had something to read, but the driver sounds like a tool. GOOD FOR YOU for beelining for a drink!
Happy Weekend, girl!!

Morgan said...

Scouty - Hilarious! I especially get a kick out of people who own a - take your pick - Mercedes, Lexus, BMW, etc. who purchase the license plate frame that says, Mercedes, Lexus, BMW. I suppose they want to let the ignorant masses exactly what kind of car they own? The jokes on them as we're so stupid we can't read. Bah. I heart your post.

Scout's Honor said...

Ann(ie): Wow! I didn't know we were Seattle neighbors. Cool! Maybe we'll meet in the Costco samples line one day.:)

Morgan: Thanks for the loving. BMW frames--Gah! I didn't even check the license plate frame to see if Tahoe Surf Mommy said she loved surfing there. "Cause then THAT would have made it definitive.

JamaGenie said...

Oh, could I write a post about SUVs and parking lot queues! Alas, it wouldn't be about bumper stickers. I'm too busy getting my little car the @#%$# out of their way.

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