United States of Motherhood: May 2007

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Did I spell disintegration correctly? Are we sure? Because this blog is about the sad demise of my brain. It's disintegrating. Sniffle. I just realized after months with my new blog masthead that I spelled realities wrong. Good God, what is the world coming to? This is what three pregnancies and the stress from the resulting spawn does to one's brain. It makes your fingers loose, so they constantly mistype and then there's this incredible pause before you find the typos. For me, it was only 2 months or so.

Just for all you out there contemplating the process of replicating and making mini-me's, let it be known that not only do your feet grow a half size per pregnancy, but your once pristine cranium that you once paid thousands at Berkeley to stuff with bits o' information inside, now becomes this useless blob of half-melted Swiss cheese that fails you in the most basic of communications.

Ah, the "realites" of motherhood. I think I'll keep it misspelled on my masthead because obviously all you who read didn't notice it either (or I would have expected some discreet note), so it's good to be in the same company. Maybe we can make some fondue!

p.s. A good friend pointed out another 2 typos in this original post. Seriously, it must have been a plop of fondue falling onto my keyboard that caused those mistakes. Gahhh!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Eye Candy

Here's a little eye candy for all you pin ups out there who aren't familiar with MarOon 5! Licking my lips as we speak.

Spring Fever: Vacation, Mother's Day, and Week-End Recap

Not unexpectedly, I have been MIA on this blog lately. I have had plenty to say, just no time to write it when the urge gets to me. Here are some recaps:

Spent nine days in Florida at Disney World and the beach on the Gulf side. Definitely wasn't relaxing, but it was fun. Blistered from the walking and the sunburn, but the kids had a blast. Photos will be forthcoming. We got a deal on priceline, but that means that they really put you on the back of the airbus. Seeing my 6'2" husband sit in the last seat with no reclining ability with the lady's head in front of him practically in his lap, while he tried to compute was a riot.

Mother's Day was awesome. Breakfast in bed ended up with the bed finally breaking. The movers trashed it when we moved from the Bay Area and it finally failed under the weight of two adults and three exuberant kids with precious hand crafted treasures and Beau's homemade scones, delicious eggs, breakfast cocktails,etc. Crash! So now, we sleep on a mattress on the floor until we can figure out how to fix it and make the !@#$% movers finally pay up for all the damage they did to our stuff. Ack! Anyway, the rest of the day included a picnic of beautiful salads, crusty breads, and french cheeses. Add a couple of movies and lazying all day on the couch, and there you have a perfect day of rest and relaxation. Oh, and Beau bought me another set of Reidel Cab glasses with stems--hurray!

This Sunday, we went to breakfast with an awesome college buddy, attended a cocktails/bartending class at Williams-Sonoma, window shopped at Bell Square, and went to lunch at Maggianos--without kids. It was bizarre and freeing. I wouldn't trade my babies for the world, but it's nice to have a break now and then.

Finally, I became a more technologically relevant person. Beau forced set me up with a new PDA and a new IPOD he won at a conference. He downloaded everything surreptiously on my laptop because I was taking too long to do it. I think he was more giddy with excitement that I had new gadgets than I was. You see, he thinks I am a music hater and tech hater. Not so, it's just after the clamour of kids all day, I prefer silence in my car and home to blaring Beastie Boys, NOFX, AFI, and any other punk band that shouts fuck at least 10 times in one song. Is that so wrong? And if I happen to like Outlook, Word, Kodak Easy Gallery, why should I change to Firefox, Open Office, etc. just because he hates Bill. Anyway, my first itunes purchase was Maroon 5. Beau didn't seem so excited with them, but then I like to keep him guessing with this Republican housewife's request for 50 cent, Eminem, and any other gangsta rap, Hip Hop, and even boy bands. Just got to keep it reeeeaaaal in suburbia.

Marron 5 and our broken bed didn't seem to cool his jets last night anyway. Yep, peeps, your favorite, redhead, over-scheduled, bored, housewife pin-up is back!

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