United States of Motherhood: Electronic Hoo-Haaas, Real Girlz, & Men's Magazines

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Electronic Hoo-Haaas, Real Girlz, & Men's Magazines

Dana recently caught her husband red-handed with a receipt for a vibrator. I asked my husband what a man would do with such a vibrator.

He had some theories, but then he went off on a tangent about electronic hoo-haas.

I mean in real detail.

Like they are rubber tubes.

Like some feel like mouths.

Some feel like hoo-haas and others feel like, ahem, other orifices.

Like he's done research...

Hmmm...

Can you sense my eyebrows were raised?

He saw those eyebrows and defensively said he'd only read about them in Wired magazine.

Uh-huh! Right-o!

He said that last time when we went to see "Lars and the Real Girl."

He knew ALOT about those REAL girls.

Seems he'd visited the website.

Seems he read it in a magazine first...

Seems it was probably Wired...

Funny that! I couldn't find any electronic vaginas when I searched Wired?

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I still say hmmmph! Wired seems to be more about electronics than software nowadays, eh?

Dangerous, girls! Dangerous!

Shaking my head.

7 comments:

That Chick Over There said...

I think I am too young to read this post.

GAH!GAH!OMG!

Dana said...

Well, in addition to the receipt for the vibrator, I happen to know that there is at least one silky rubber hoo-ha AND a bottle of lube in his bottom desk drawer (but no pocket rocket vibrator)!

I'm sure I could give you plenty of blogging material!

Lori said...

As a frequent guest of FUN and REP (Romance Enhancement Parties) I can attest to the hundreds of man-toys out there simulating a few different orifices. I took and informal survey (after a few drinks) and found that the men claimed to not prefer them over the real thing - it was sort of like "any port in a storm" kind of answer. (If those guys were truthful!)
TMI? Probably.
Sorry!

Scout's Honor said...

That Chick: Ah, your never too young to learn how ridiculous men can be though...

Dana: Oh, no he didn't. Yep, lots of material. I'm still agape at your thin mints. You've got some courage I wish I had. As for his drawer, pathetic!

Lori: I grew up in a family of eight, I don't think I've ever said too much info. That said, I am learning so much from the internet.

Scout's Honor said...

Uhhh, and you'RE never too young to lose your mind and make constant typos and grammatical errors. Sigh. One of these days, I'll remember to spell check and perhaps think before I type. arrrgh.

Whit said...

I've never known a guy to buy any sort of fakeness for himself- for her, sure, but hell, unless he's missing both of his hands what's the point?

practical(ly) Mom(me) said...

whit- too funny. don't cha still need hands for this hoo-haaa gadget???

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