Evil Daughter: Forwards Are Unkind
Can I tell you how much I hate forwards? Hate 'em.So I had a friend, another military wife, that I kept contact with over the years. She was a habitual politics forwarder which was funny because we never talked politics when we lived across the street from each other. I guess it took distance for her to send this crap....errr...I mean use her 1st amendment. Why didn't she start a blog like mine, eh? Lots of crap.
So I finally became sick of one that said so many lies and misinformation that I replied.
Ummmm, I replied to ALL.
I exposed each line with websites from official congress sites, reputable news sources, and, yes, even Snopes. The gist was the draft was imminent and it was the Republican led congress that was going to pass it any minute.
It turned out that it was a grandstanding Democrat from New York that proposed the legislation to call attention to the number of his minority constituents who had died. It was never even close to being adopted at "any minute." Everyone knew it was to get media attention. No, no draft.
So, my friend?
She was beyond livid and she was my friend no more. She was furious at being called on for passing on lies. My reply was actually very respectful and matter of fact. I really try not to get emotional when it comes to politics. I think really she was embarrassed for being called on for sending something and saying she "fact" checked it first when it was a load of shite.
Was I wrong? Ummm. Yes.
I just was so sensitive at that point and having been in the military, as has my husband, the thought of fear-mongering people into worrying about their teenage babies and thinking America would move from a volunteer army to a draft inflamed me. I wanted to stop that forwad in it's place.
Today? Only my Dad sends the crappy forwards. He didn't protect my email once and one of his ultra religious crap pot buddies started emailing me forwards too. Never met the guy. He was just grabbing other people "forwards" list. This guy lived in another state.
So I did the same thing. Replied all. This time the forward was to boycott Blockbuster because they carried the movie "Latter Day Saints" about...gasp...gay Mormon missionaries. I mentioned the 1st amendment. I mentioned his grabbing my email address was more heinous than a silly movie. I mentioned his email actually had piqued my interest in a movie I had never heard of, but by golly, I was going to go rent it today.
He shut up real quick. I might have mentioned privacy and spamming laws and harassment if he sent me any more forwards. That was probably unnecessary. His head was probably spinning on it's axis for replying to ALL his other minions.
As for my Dad, I sent him an "error message" -- official looking messages saying I had subscribed to forward blocker and he was listed as a "serial forwarder" and if he didn't "cease and desist", his email would be permanently blocked.
Seriously.
Yes, I did.
Umm, hehe, it looked exactly like this (*except names were changed to protect the erm innocent:
RE: Fw: Poem Found After Death
From:Scout's Honor*Evil Daughter Who Will Burn in Hell
To: *In the Wrong Dad That Sends Out 20 Forwards in 3 minutes and usually removes "FW" so you can't set up a rule to block emails with "FW" which makes evil daughter's blood boil
Forwardizer!!
Forwards are unkind.
It appears you have sent an unwanted forward to
user:This user has subscribed to a new service that blocks abusive forwards. A second forward sent to this user will result in your emails being permanently blocked and your name being listed on the national registry.
If you feel you have received this message in error, no action is necessary. Simple direct original content email to user: evildaughtersemail@shewillburninhell.com .Our service compiles all unoriginal, unwanted forwards circulating the net. New forwards are added to our indices daily.
To subscribe to this service, click here.Error!
Error!
From: (*Erased to protect Scout's Dad) Sent: Sunday, November 04, 2007 12:46 PM
I sent it to him 20 times in a row.
Yes, my friends, TWENTY. Just kept hitting send button while hysterically laughing while CG shook his head and mumbled something about "Honor thy 70 year old father."
My Dad? He freaked the hell out. Thought it was some sort of virus.
Truly I had asked him at least 20-30 times to stop sending me this stuff and it never worked.
This time? Heh. No forwards from my Dad.
Hi! I am Scout's Honor and I am the very incarnation of evil. Try to send me forwards. I dare you.
10 comments:
Love it! Too funny.
I actually created a pretend error message email too. Your's was far more creative though. I'll see you hell. :)
OMG I think I just pee'd in my pants...that's hilarious. I did almost the same thing to a neighbor of ours that knew for a fact we did not follow the same political mumbo jumbo he did...and every time he sent one of those email telling me the evils of this or that, I would copy and past the Snopes page that identified it as false infomation ...and Reply ALL. It took about a month, and he said something to DH about it...they stopped coming though...
You are a woman after my own heart...keep it coming I LOVE IT.
Justa Girl in a Port: Glad to entertain, my friend. And at least we'll be hawt in hell, eh?
Wawawa! :)
Dawn: That reply all does get me in trouble sometimes. Heh!
Maybe I shouldn't have used in with a friend, but then, I think, would a friend send me that crap and expect me to swallow without a word? If she really knew me, she would have known Scout is a windy douchehole and has problems on an oridinary day controlling her mouth. Heh! Sigh.
As for your neighbor, wow! Very brave for you and annoying that he thought that was ok.
I generally tip toe around neighbors because I have seen neighbors gone very wrong and it's ugly because you can't get rid of them. Instead I dream of doing something very passive aggressive.
Oh to dream: I might pour bleach on his grass in the form of a "FW." Do you think that would go over well?
I am so w/ya on this one!
And I really don't think it's so wrong to hit 'rely all' when the forward is completely and utterly ridiculous. My mom did that once, on purpose, to someone who forwarded her (not knowing that she teaches ESL to immigrants) about 'foreigners' trying to run our country and the 'ill effect' they were having here.
Her email was factual and pointed out all the lies in the original one, which was just a bunch of propaganda bs. I was so proud of her!
And those forwards with all the pictures of babies . . . equally nauseating.
Where's my chocolate? ;)
reply . . .not rely. there i go again.
You ARE evil! I might copy that and send it to my MIL. I HATE STUPID USELESS FWDS!
Not only do I hate forwards... but I HATE being threatened if I don't forward the forward!!! HELLO! We learned as kids that chain letters were evil.... why are grown adults perpetuating National Friend Week????? Make the bad men stop!!!
Not to worry, we will all be joining you in hell!
I have an Aunt that is horrible about this, although she has desisted since I told her I didn't appreciate it (and pointed out the factual inaccuracies in her forward). She was mad at me about it all though, which I don't think was quite fair. After all, I sent the reply to her privately at least! :)
Carrie: More importantly, where's my chocolate?
So, I guess I'm not so evil after all by "replying all," either that or I am in good company. I am sure I'd like your mom.
As for babies, blech! Those are some of the worst as well as anything animated or with a poem.
Karly: Do it. Do it. do it. Heh! I'm all for poking mother-in-laws. Heh!
Grim Reality Girl: So true. Chain letters. I'll save a lounge chair for you in hell.
Meryl: Sigh. Yes, I would always immediately confront my Dad and he would get offended and stop for a week.
Surprise! Then it was like he had amnesia and he'd start over. He doesn't save it just for me either. He sends these forwards to senators, newspapers, everyone in his contacts. In essence, he's too lazy to pick who he thinks might appreciate this stuff. Send all.
After my complaints, for a while, he would shift to my husband's account, but my husband straight up blocked him. My older sister actually keeps her email account secret and changes it pretty frequently because of his forwards.
Me? I just use a simple, slightly threatening Forwardizer letter. Free as a bird. Nothing weighing on my conscience, eh?
Thanks for visiting!
I humbly bow down to your brilliance!!
I LOVE that you called your "friend" out - ignorance breeds ignorance. I think this past election and all the e-mails shooting around on all sides proved that. I wonder if Obama will use his Koran?
And I'm so using this. Sorry MIL, it's a new year, and we updated some software, sweetheart!!
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