United States of Motherhood: Ugh! I Smell Like a Boy

Friday, August 22, 2008

Ugh! I Smell Like a Boy

On Monday, after commenting on Moosh in Indy's blog on hair washing and realizing it had been 3.5 DAYS since I had washed my hair, I got my stank butt to the shower.

It wasn't until I was in there that I realized my razor was STILL packed in my toiletries bag from our trip over EIGHT days ago.

What's a grown woman to do? Get out of hot, steamy shower and drip over to the bag? OR just use my husband's razor conveniently in the shower?


Yes, I've been using that razor since we got back from Vancouver.

(Ummm...if you're reading this sweetheart and wonder why you've been getting getting all those cuts while shaving in the shower? Well now you know. He he he. Cue nervous laughter and sprinting stance as I am in now waiting for my husband to kill me.)

After dulling my husband's razor, I dry off only to realize that I ran out of girl deodorant like two days ago.

Ugh. Grimace. What's a girl to do?

Yep, she wears her husband's man smelly, wide deodorant which probably had pit hairs in it.

Nose wrinkle.

Yep, I smell like Gillette X3 Machfarking whatever. You might as well marinate me in Old Spice or Brill cream.

There were even balls in the deodorant. I know. I know. No surprise there. Men are always about their balls. But geez, I did not need blue ball exfoliant in my pits.

Although I spray girly Green Apple spray all over me, I still smell like a boy.

I can't escape the boy smell.

I guess that's what I get from using his razor, eh?


Amelia said...

Boys smell good though. I'd rather smell like a boy, but I try and smell like a girl so I can have more boys to smell.

I haven't slept in 36 hours. Does it show?

Beau said...

I'm cool with you using my razor to shave.

As long as you shave it all.

btw, I like the popup comments are nice!

Scout's Honor said...

Amelia: You make me smile. Boy smell is usually good, but not boy deoderant from a drug store.

Oh, no. 36 hours? Woman, take care of yourself. Is the li'l guy not sleeping?

I finally got to bed at 4:30 AM only to wake up in full-blown panic at 9 AM because we have a playdate for Li'l man this morning.

Beau/CG: Sigh.Always such a dreamer. I'll go Brazilian when you do, m'kay?


moosh in indy. said...

I say go Brazilian and go home. No razors will be hurt in the *ahem* doing of a Brazilian for four to six weeks.
Just sayin'.

Leslie said...

The smell of Dave's deodorant makes me randy. I think wearing it would be dangerous.

Scout's Honor said...

Moosh in Indy! Girl, how dare you give me advice!! Hehehe.

Sorry, I was told on a blogrecently that it's condescending to offer unsolicted advice or turn a light hearted post into a serious discussion.


Thanks so much for visiting. Funny! I learned a ton on your post. I might even try that dry shampoo/corn starch advice. You never know what you'll learn, eh?

Seriously, thank for stopping by.

Leslie: Me too....on him. On me, with all my other girlie products shampoo, moisturizer, body wash, perfume, it all clashes into this weird smell that reminds me of "Axe" teenage boys products.

Ok, now I'm really off to bed. My eyes are drying wide open. I may unable to blink again.

carrie said...

Yeah, but Brazilians huuuuuuuurt!!!!! My god they do.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know (regarding my last post) that busing is NOT an option. It totally sucks, you see we live just close enough for the school disctict to think we don't need a pick-up and just far enough to make it a total pain in the arse! It is too far for an 11 year-old boy to walk and/or ride a bike alone at that ungodly hour. Just a pain. And yeah, I have to get the others to their educational destinations at 9 and 9:20 respectively, so a complete waste of a morning. I'll need lots of coffee!

I know, high school will be here soon, and then I won't have to worry so much . . . about that at least! :) Thanks for listening though!

Karly said...

I sometimes use Cleatus's razor even when mine is right there. Mens razors are just so much BETTER, and yet I can't bring myself to buy one just for ME. :)

Scout's Honor said...

Carrie: I hear you about Brazilians. The pain doesn't bother me as much as the thought of Helga the Hair Ripper being up in my bizness when I don't even like to look at myself in broad daylight there. No stank you.

As for busing, man! That stinks. I hear you on the darkness though. There was a kid at our middle school, hit by a car, in a crosswalk with lit lines, with crossing guards, in front of the school. Honestly, I bet the guy didn't even know he hit a child. No one could even identify the car. Just too dark to be safe--especially with the trees.

Then there are bitches like this one here who kill me.

Walking to school is dangerous business.

Karly: So true. Men are just more diligent about changing their razor blades regularly while I'll use the same dull blade for months. Sometimes my husband changes it for me when he's realized I've started to use his. Hehehe.

Beau said...

I can change your blade, but where is your razor?

Beau said...

And I can help with the shaving too, if you want to avoid Helga!

I can commit to doing that every day!
Maybe even twice a day.

Scout's Honor said...

You are such a perv!

imhelendt said...

I'm just sitting here in wide eyed horror blinking at the screen. Make it go away. Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away.Make it go away. ;P

Scout's Honor said...

Helen: Going over the post, I am finding many of your OCD triggers. Hehehe.

So what do you want to make go away?

3.5 days between shampoos? I know. Totally gross. I kept wearing hats and pony tails.

Or was it the using husband's deoderant with pit hairs?

Or CG being such a perv? Just innocently wondering.:)

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin