He was a white sock wearing Mechanical Engineer major at Berkeley when I met him.
He did have some cool style at the time wearing Doc Martens 10 eye boots, skinny jeans, wallet chain, and black watch cap going for him too. By engineering department standards, that made him very cool. There were other reasons I thought he was cool, so I married him...
...with the unwavering intent of a full makeover.
Over the years, he has succumbed to my charms, feminine wiles, and downright pouting to change his style. We took baby steps with Old Navy then Gap. We snuck Eddie Bauer in here and there. Banana Republic became a friend. Finally, with no suggestion of my own, he went out and purchased a black casual sports coat to dress up jeans at J. Crew all by himself this summer.
Eureka! He's cured...
Sigh. Except for...we don't call him geek for nothing...
...except for footwear.
In particular ratty shoes and white socks. With a Geophysicist/Geologist Dad and Mom with a masters in math, have I mentioned CG likes him sum math?
Heh! In fact, his high school hero was his math teacher. Yes, the math teacher's memory has been invoked many a time during this marriage. Most particularly, in CG's mind, was this math teacher was the coolest ever...and he wore white socks.
Then let's get to the shoes. CG had four pairs of shoes when I met him:
Doc Marten Oxblood Red Steel Toe 3 Eye Shoe
Doc Marten Black Steel Toe 3 Eye Shoe
Doc Marten Black 10 Eye Steel Toe Boots
Something similar to these:
He kept that same repertoire of shoes for the first five years of our marriage. In fact, I think these still reside in his closet. I, of course, am not counting army boots and running shoes. He had plenty of cold-weather, regular, and desert army boots. Army Captain's need those.
Then, he, on occasional started to buy a skate shoe, perhaps an Airwalk, for more casual comfort. Fine, until he started only wearing said sneakers....until they were stinky and holey and in ghastly shape.
Have I mentioned I have over 100 pairs of shoes and my husband loves this because he has a thing for women's shoes? Heh! Women's shoes on me. He especially loves stilettos--achingly painful--stilettos.
But for him? It's all about comfort--both fit and staying in the same old rut.
He is resistant to change and more importantly resistant to shelling out money. Hence every sweater and button down shirt he owns was bought by me as a gift. He'd never buy them. He'd still be wearing Levis, Doc Martens, and a raggedy white pocket t-shirt from the 90's if I had left him be.
Compounding this problem is that he now works from home. The work khakis and button downs went away. It's now comfy jeans, old t-shirts, and ratty shoes.
About 1 1/2 years ago, he came home with these really ugly Vans:
He wore them constantly. Every day. No other shoes cut it. Until they started looking like this six months ago:
And still they persisted. CG did mention once he thought we should go shoe shopping, but then nothing. I was embarassed to be seen in public with these shoes. He'd wear his nice jeans, his blazer, and those holy fugly shoes. They actually let water in which is not good in Seattle.
This Sunday, I could take no more. I picked out 10 pairs shoes at Zappos. Zappos is the best place on earth, second only to 6PM.com, on fabulous shoes on sale.
I demanded he choose three.
I was a cold-hearted task master. No, no PUMAS. So stoopid Adidas soccer shoes. No skate shoes. I wanted decent shoes I could live with for two years. And damn if he wasn't going to have more than one pair, so they could be alternated.
We bought three with the idea that Zappos provides free shipping on returns. They would be here on Thursday. Then, as if a gift from the gods, Zappos, knowing my desperation, sent me an email yesterday saying they'd determined we were
The shoes? They came today:
Did you get that? Ordered late Sunday afternoon and arrived Tuesday before 10 AM? I almost had an orgasm when the UPS man arrived. The invoice said:
They came with a gift receipt from yours truly:
I immediately ripped open the box, flung CG's office chair around, and started playing shoe salesman. Thankfully they all fit and two were particularly good. One return, two keepers. Mission accomplished.
"Ahhh," he said, "These new shoes just aren't broken in."
Yes, whatever. Isn't that I just said?!
Then, I snatched those fugly Vans up and said I was going to burn them. He says almost longingly that, "No, I wasn't."
But, oh yes, my friends I did:
Who knew one's arch nemesis could be a stenchy, trench-foot infected skate shoe.
CG seemed a little in shock and awe:
(Please note the persistence of the white socks. Sigh. Baby steps, my friends. Baby steps.)
And he has these beauties waiting in the wings:
I am happy. Now the only thing about shopping for shoes, is you find alot for yourself. I found no less than $500 in shoes for me. Then there were some for the kids. I whittled it down to $300 in shoes I didn't even know we needed. Heh.
Bad economy? What bad economy? I am going to stop the recession right now with my mindless shopping.
So 6PM.com, I am waiting for my 24 pairs of shoes. Twenty of which are mine:
6PM.com and, no, I received no free shoes, schwag, or incentives for promoting them. It's just pure shoe-lurving.
I know, ridiculous yes? Until you realize these shoes retail from $60-$110 each and I got them for $9.99-$14.84, plus no sales tax and free shipping. Can't resist a bargain.
And for the kids:
So, looking at these pictures, I realize who might have the problem. I, with too many, he with too few. He is the sneaker Yin to my Jimmy Choo Yang.
So, back to the burning. Burning one's husband's shoes in effigy is quite invigorating. Or maybe that was the toxic smell of burning rubber with two years of foot sweat.
Still quite a release, if I must say: