United States of Motherhood: In Other Abysmal News...

Friday, January 30, 2009

In Other Abysmal News...

Assuming fetal position..

Yep, more bleak news.

I know. I know.

It's getting old. I promise to go back to your regular, snarky Scout any minute now, but I have got to get this out.

So we know already:

Monday and Tuesday truth comes out about family finding blog + aftermath still unresolved= bad news

Also Tuesday, I get lab results that our dog we treat more like a family member whose been in remission has melanoma again+ $1000 surgery needed= bad news

Wednesday, I start heavy-heartedly censoring my blog out of respect for siblings feelings.

Thursday, I get call from vet that dog's cancer has metastasized so hopeless+pain likely unless we still go ahead with $1000 surgery+less than one year prognosis=bad news

And now:

Also Thursday, the love of my life, father of my three children and our sole provider went in to have in-depth MRI done of three lesions in his lungs they've been watching since discovering them while getting cardiology study done about his TWO, I repeat, two different heart conditions (vasovegal response and Wolfe-Parkison-White Syndrome) and sustained, high, possibly genetically-high cholesterol from cardiologist.

Also Thursday, my husband decides to finally make appointment same day with GP about hand issues. They are cold, swollen and times and painful which is difficult when a keyboard is your God like my Computer Geek (CG). I've been saying Reynaud's for months. Yep, self-diagnosing does run in the family especially when you have wicked Google skills.

GP says Reynaud's and orders vascular study. Then husband casually mentions his optometrist mentioned being able to see cholesterol build up in his eye's vascular system on his last exam. Doctor orders another vascular study and mentions that type of cholesterol can lead to blockage in brain or carotid artery in neck.

Did we mention that CG's grandfather died from surgery from a blocked carotid artery??!!

And now, I see on the same day my blog was shared with sisters, I had visitors from my parent's hometown who went directly to specifically targeted blogs about my father at about the same time. Ah, isn't blog tracking software grand? It could be an coincidence. What do you think?

And now the best for last, all the stress and crying has led to me for once not getting my period when I usually will get it twice in a month when stressed.

That should be good given my history right?

Um, for once, no. See, it took me 6 months to get uterine ablation consultation. I finally did it, but I had to wait 4 months for appointment. Appointment that was timed to not coincide with period since that type of flow gets in the way of exams.

Now looks like I'll have my period right on that appointment.


The universe hates me. It's stomping me. I must have stepped on a butterfly or something.

Either that or it wants me to know I've been watching too much American Idol and House and I need to snap out of it and go back to living.

The pain is there to make me feel alive, right? Right?

Alrighty, no more pity party.

Just feeling withered and broken.

It's out.

You can all go back to your happy lives full of bouncy bunnies, giggling babies and sparkling houses while I figure out how to get out of this fetal position.

I guess I'm not that bendy any more when it comes to my heart.

Blognotes: Thx for the Flickr pics by 妳兒子很皮 and by funadium and by Yves. and by SleepingBear


Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

OH my...ok..so yes, I do believe that God does not give us more than we can handle...but girl, you do have a lot to handle...

Family will always be family..you and CG and kids come first...

I wish there was something more poinent to say...

Maggie, Dammit said...

I am so sorry for all you are going through.

Scout's Honor said...

Dawn: Your words were more than enough. Thank you.

Maggie: Thanks. I can feel the compassion. I guess that is one part of blogging that my family just does not understand. It's cool connecting with people you might not never have encountered that have appreciable viewpoints. Thanks again. I appreciate all your comments. :)

Tendrils said...


I don't even know what to say.

I'll keep you guys in my prayers.

Hang in there......


Ann(ie) said...

Isn't it fun when life just pounds up with a bunch of crap all at once???? :( Thinking of you, love. I mean it. xo.

Lauri said...

Hugs... life can be craptastic sometimes.

More big hugs

I totally get the sister drama.. I am one of three sisters.

carrie said...

I wish I could send a little sunshine your way. I really do.

You will be in my thoughts, all of you.

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