Outed and Likely Not Forgiven
It seems something happened I have always wished wouldn't.
My family found my blog.
I never invited them here, but they found out and came one by one.
They didn't like what they saw.
My advice: Please don't come back if it offends you. Please don't set up Facebook accounts and "friend" me only to write bitter, angry comments as torpedos on my marriage and my worth as soon as I try to make a friendly comment.
Mature people don't use Facebook to get even.
Also, as we all know, our entire family all talk behind each others backs. We all discuss what we don't like about each other. Say it's not true, then you are lying.
It's hypocritical to get mad at me for writing honestly about my experiences while you titter and gossip behind my back and then each other's backs.I am sure telephones will be ringing amongst family members today. I am sure my ears will burn with what I know is being said about me and apparently has been said about me. Don't think I didn't notice the lack of calls and falling off the Christmas card lists.
I know you hate my politics especially my support of my friends' gay marriages. I know you dislike that I disagree and think that your religion is intolerant. I know you think me repugnant with my open discussion of my marriage including our sexual issues. You dislike my frank discussions of our childhood. In general though, you are barely in my blog. You see this blog is not about you.
The difference is I allow you your opinions. I don't bejudge how you feel or believe which is very different than the way I feel or believe. I try to understand. I try to be tolerant. I just wish I were allotted the same tolerance and respect that I may have a different viewpoint than you all.
My blog is a way to vent. I am at times brutally honest. I share things that you might not want shared. Looking over my blog, sometimes I could have been nicer. I don't sugar coat it. I wish you could see all the nice things I have written like:
How much I value you as sisters
Grandma's funeral
How I think Mormons are good people that I gravitate toward
We sisters need to stick together & how much I value your love & support.
Mormon are good Peeps!
Grandma's funeral
How I think Mormons are good people that I gravitate toward
We sisters need to stick together & how much I value your love & support.
Mormon are good Peeps!
There really is much more positive than negative.
I am very sorry if I hurt you. I never meant to do that.
I also never invited you here especially if you don't want to hear different beliefs than your own.
My question to you is how does how you act and talk behind family members' backs make you a good person?Full of worth?
Make you one of the faithful in your religion?
Make you so better than me that you feel able to judge and be angry?
Please, sisters, take a look in the mirror.
If you can say you haven't said things I would be hurt by to others, then cast a stone at that mirror.
**Blognotes: Thx for the pics from by tripp-e and by Ye Olde Wig Shoppe and by babymellowdee
9 comments:
Well said and I hope you continue to write here because, well, I'd miss it!
Also, I hope your family understands that this website is about you and not so much about them.
I can't help but think of that Dr. Seuss quote, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
There was drama in Dave's family when they discovered my blog. They didn't like me to start with and it just gave them another excuse.
I hope you'll keep writing here and that your family will live and let live.
i know i haven't always been the bestest of sisters and i have been part of the twitters behind the hands....but being stung by it myself i am trying to turn a new leaf. i promise to you that if i have a problem with you i will bring it to you. And if i have an opinion i will give that opinion honestly if i share it at all with anyone. Please hold me accoutable. I love you!
molly
New to your site and thought I'd throw some support behind you and let you know that you're not alone. My blog is pretty vulgar at times, by my family's standards but everyone right down to my grandmother reads it. It certainly makes it difficult to express myself while also feeling censored, but I've learned to deal with it. Don't stop posting.
I'm glad I read what the rest of the people had posted in response or I would have repeated Leslie with the Dr. Suess quote. It is what it is.
Amen! Great post! Please keep writing! You have a gift....and we'd miss you!
Every family has their "issues." And any family that doesn't think they do.....is lying. So, how do families best deal with these issues......well, they usually hide them or ignore them.....how should they respond.....TALK. Get it out! Face the Problem!!!!!
Kudos for standing up for yourself!
Thank you ladies. I cannot express how needed your kind words were and much they were appreciated.
Hopefully you didn't come to my blog last night only for it to be privated. I do plan to keep blogging. I need to plan how to write about me without including them. My family, my childhood experiences have shaped who I have become.
Molly said it best that this blog is a memoir. It's about me. I also see it as a for of therapy if you will.
References to them have been minimal, but I guess not minimal enough. I went through my blog yesterday and was ashamed to see many careless comments I wrote that, although true, were unflattering to my sisters. I regret that.
I do however think they mainly have a problem with my view of our childhood religion. That I won't stifle. I cannot agree with or be at peace with so many tenets of the Mormon faith without betraying my friends whose marriage were ripped asunder by LDS politics.
So I am still searching for a solution.
I think you are very brave. Your children, will respect and thank you for documenting your life as you saw it instead of through a veil of censorship. Stay true to who you are.
Out here in the blogosphere, we're grateful that you've chosen to share a bit of yourself.
Oh gosh - I've read through all these posts. I'm so sorry for the hurt. I hope bridges can be made.
I think people who don't blog really don't get "it." That's hard to explain, but please keep moving forward with your expression.
Thinking of you. Em
You are awesome =) I love your blog. Plain and simple.
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