Get a Sense of Humor, Anonymous

I'll respond to the troll in my last post as soon as the Mojitos wear off. While you wait, enjoy:

Hehehe.

Screw the buzz. Offhand, I am thinking, golly gee, Anonymous, you know us suburban white women. You do. You do.

Gosh, I am thinking what a sad thing that your parents never helped you once in your poor educational existence. Poor baby. How touching you made it to the top one hundred schools in the nation.

I am so enthralled to find out how you plan to "stand by what [you've] written to all of [us] who might react shocked," since you commented ANONYMOUSLY.

Shite, my friend, this suburban Mommy may have gone to the top political science department (that would #1 Cal Berkeley at the time) in the nation, you putz, but even she understands that having a sense of humor is a life skill worth having.

Yes, I made a pun on a sexual innuendo that does not denigrate anyone. ..unless someone is sadly lacking the skill and prowess in that department, eh? Tsk. Tsk. Get over yourself. If Mac uses it in an ad, it's hardly offensive. Want some more:

Gosh. So offensive Will Smith and David Letterman look so shocked and offended, right?

So, "big pants", I was the 1st in my family to be a college graduate and yes, my parents never helped me either. However, nor was I in one of the most elite school systems in the nation. My daughter, being up to a 1.5 years younger than most students in her class, is. Even in a regular school district, kids these days are learning what I learned in AP English in 7/8 grade.

Oh, and to clear things up since you obviously didn't read any of the links provided from the original post, this was a required 4th grade science project and everything on her poster was a required element. I am sure, sweetheart, only getting into a third tier school, you didn't do such rigorous projects in the 4th grade, eh?

Honey, even as an adult, you can not seem to differentiate between "your" and "you're" and colons and semi colons and "beat" and "beet" and "there" and "their" so perhaps you should look inward before touting your pathetic education, m'kay? We won't even discuss run on sentences, poorly worded and awkward phrasing, and the inability to grammar check. Please tell me you don't have a degree. Sigh.

As for my children, "beat red?" Again, the root vegetable is called "b-e-e-t." How's that education working out for you, eh? Back on topic, please! We are very open with our children about sex. No embarrassment here.

As for my husband, thanks for the laugh. Sweetheart, unless you are obtuse and fail to comprehend the Queen's English with a little snarkiness on the side, you would realize I was referring to the black color of the ribbon. It's a pun. Look it up in that great big book. Unless you think I was denigrating Smurfs as I did mention the color "blue" as well.

As for bragging, why would I try to lessen the results of a project well done? I am proud of my daughter. Yes, this project took much supervision and guidance which I was somewhat resentful of considering my daughter is nine, but I am proud of her. I am never embarrassed about bragging about my daughter's accomplishments.

Actually, I would disagree entirely with you on one count. Our acts do define who we are. Your comment speaks volumes about you. Claiming you are from a top one hundred school you try to gain legitimacy, but your positions are completely negated by your inferior writing skills. Your acts, your comment, make you look a fool. No grandiose words will make it or you look better.

I have never said my blog is in a vacuum. Surprise! I actually welcome respectful, well-thought out, differing points of view. The difference is yours is neither well-thought out or respectful. Yet, still, I don't delete. Why? Simply said, you make me laugh, especially souped up on Mojitos.

"Be my guest?" A guest? Me? This is my blog, not yours. I don't need your permission in the slightest. I do hope that is "transparent."

Ta-ta. I'm off to slurp more Mojitos and get it on with my "inferior white" husband.

Shhh...don't tell anyone, but my kids know that's how babies are made.

By the way, Anonymous, speaking of being honest, can I request pulling the gi-normous stick out of your butt? I think it might be much more comfortable sitting at your computer, judging other people while too cowardly to do it unless anonymous.

Okay, back to our regular programming, friends.

Happy Mother's Day, y'all.

'lisciously scribed by Heather Murphy-Raines @ 8:30 PM