United States of Motherhood: One Pluck From Puberty: Take Me Off This Teenage Rollercoaster

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

One Pluck From Puberty: Take Me Off This Teenage Rollercoaster

We are on the cusp of teenage detonation here in the Scouty household.


Waiting for the death knell of adolescence to full-fledged teenage wasteland.

Eldest turns 13 in August.

He's started the puberty train with his zitsicles (zits on zits) and sudden growth spurts.

Luckily, we look on the bright side. He is very proud of the fact he doesn't have "back'ne" and "butt'ne."

Whew! Lucky us. With CG's genetics, that was a very real danger.

Oh, and we have 'tude out the wah-zoo.

However, we (meaning he) were waiting on pins and needles for one last clue that he was becoming a man cub.

Yes, my friends, arm pit hair.

One recent, unsuspecting evening, he flung himself down the stairs like he was seven, shiny faced, and full of joy again.

Gone was my sullen, snarky 12 year old and back was the snappy little guy with easy smile and fidgety demeanor... and bouncy...very, very suspiciously bouncy.

"Guess what, mom! Guess what? Guess what. Huh? huh? huh?"

I silently raise an eyebrow behind my laptop. Ever the skeptic of what treat he had in store for me.

"I got one. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Who's the master of the universe. Who's the Jedi now, padawan? Who powns?" He shouts.

He commenced a jiggy danced and snaked and wiggled his awkward, skinny body all over the couch.

"M'kay...you?" I asked.

He proudly lifted his naked arm pit and shoved it into my nose.

Oh, what a shining mother moment.

"Uh...what am I supposed to be looking at here?"

He points. He gesticulates madly. Then suddenly, there it was.

In the upper left corner, was one lone hair.

No, it wasn't soft, fuzzy lanugo like when he was born.

Nope, it was one long, coarse man hair.


No, silly, I didn't get choked up over a pit hair. The kid forget to wear deodorant and my nose was burning.

Heh! I jest.

In the meantime, his siblings had gathered round to see the famed hair like it was a treasured oddity.

Eldest then decides he might pluck it.

His little brother shrieked and said emphatically, "No. You need to preserve it!"


Two boys. Three if you count CG.

You hear things you never imagined you would as a mom.

Preserve it?

Scout walks away shaking her head...

Yep, my friends, Mothering three boys is one wild ride. Heh!


JamaGenie said...

Men! One pit hair and they act like like they've invented the wheel. lol!

Scout, I only wish it'd been a smelly pit thrust in my face when one Darling Daughter wanted Mom to know she'd arrived at womanhood.

Brandi said...

My 10 year old boy just got his first zit and he's so proud of it...

I'm actually more worried about my daughter hitting puberty than the boys.

I think boys are more difficult than girls when they're young, but I'm guessing girls become exponentially harder once the hormones kick in.

She's moody at 3. I can't imagine what she'll be like at 13.

Dumblond said...

I wonder if my boy will be as excited about his pit hair...Don't know if I want him shoving it in my face though...

Chris said...

OMG- preserve it? That cracks me up! E, my oldest, turns 13 in October. I'm actually glad my oldest is a boy as he has two sisters right behind him and one is already 11. Scary stuff.

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