United States of Motherhood: Shit Storm: Let Me Vent Between Hyperventilating

Friday, May 1, 2009

Shit Storm: Let Me Vent Between Hyperventilating

I've been feeling like a speck in a sand storm.

This picture above?

It's my bedroom window and never was a picture so adeptly a symbol for my life. Sunny backyard right?

Look closely.

Some Canadian Geese used every one of our windows as a target.

Never was shit so adeptly placed. You know how sometimes everything looks peachy on the outside when inside? It's like the contents of the loose stools a very stank ass, miserable bird?

That window? It's a perfect ending to a perfectly heinous month.

Life isn't good.

We knew my laptop was broken. I've been without calendar and 'puter for weeks. Computer guys say it's not cost effective to fix.

This makes for one very stressed, over-scheduled Scout who doesn't know where the fuck she is supposed to be minute to minute while she decides if we have the money to buy a new one.

Then generous younger sister snaps up a bitchin' newer car (from DUI driver double whoop for getting another drunk off the road) for elderly, financial struggling and transportationally impaired parents. She asks for financial assistance via email on some thousand dollars in work that was needed to make it street safe from all us siblings.

We are so broke I declined. Due to guilt, I gave her entire run down of our bleak financial issues. Then I realized I replied all, so every freaking body in my family knows our financial minutiae.

CG was pissed. I am the queen of TMI.

In karmic retribution, husband left his laptop bag in the front seat of my car in a higher crime area of the Puget Sound area. I've been warning him for years for him to stop that. He has also mocked me for being paranoid or dismissed my fears.

I guess the fact my car was broken into once didn't deter him.

You know what's coming next, right?

Of course it was broken into... Might as well given the thieves a "steal our identity" kit with a bow on top.

Along with laptop, credit cards, and keys were his old military ID with social security number, his passport with his place and date of birth, property tax bill with our address, and his school id with new sticker.

On the laptop? Saved passwords to websites, years of tax returns with kids' social security numbers, contact lists and Christmas card lists, addresses, phone numbers, photographs, the last month of his MBA school work as well as some documents for work.

Every blasted thing they needed to set up shop really.

Let's not forget his camera with pictures of the kids and our house. Oh, and we have his ipod, his freaking $125 ear bud for his phone, a multitude of cords, photographs, bart tickets, his expensive laptop bag, and gift cards.

Gone. All gone.

Before we could cancel them, his corporate AMEX card had multiple tanks of gas purchased, Subway lunch, and a shit load of auto parts purchased. In 45 minutes!

The next day, they tried to use our medical flexible spending card to buy more gas.

Fuckers are gassy.

Right now we are at $3000 in damage with $500 deductible that household insurance may or may not cover completely. We have $890 damage to car with $500 deductible.

Most worrisome, we have given the bastards the answer to every living fucking security question anyone would ask to open a credit account, bank account, or mortgage.

We've canceled every credit card and are awaiting new cards while autopay accounts for swimming are getting declined and bills are due.

We've changed every password for every account we have. We've flagged our credit history. We tried to flag kids social security numbers to protect them, but sadly, they are under 13 so they are "protected" from us flagging them. We have to snail mail it in and hope the rat bastards aren't opening a loan in Li'l Man's name.

We have one very tense marriage.

In the midst of this?

My 72 year old father looses consciousness and crashes new car into to tree on the day the work we didn't help pay for was done and it flips.

He and my mother, with minimal health insurance and meager means, are rushed to the hospital.

After 4-5 days observation, they take him into surgery to have pace maker and de-fibrillator put in.

Best? He was on way to register and insure new car so there is question of whether it is insured. It was completely totalled. Gah!

More added stress? An old frenemy decides to take residence in my attention. I've never mentioned her because I know she reads this. She is pathetic and the least of my worries. She just causes more angst after I tried to do a good deed in her already unhappy existence.

What does matter? My older sisters are still not talking to me after finding my blog and I simply don't know how to mend it. The aftermath was ugly. The silence is worse. My apologies don't seem to have worked.

Getting better still? Eldest seems to have had a break with reality. He oozes attitude.

Grades have dropped from his solid A- average last year to a D+ in English, C in Social Studies, and C- in Algebra. Amidst pressure from coach, I stood firm and have taken away his right to go to a international swim meet he qualified for and have issued dire warning that swimming in general is in jeopardy.

The coach entered him anyways. I stood my ground and declined again because it doesn't seem to be getting through to him. He doesn't care about threats of summer school and doesn't believe I'll follow through. It's a stand off.

Working to crescendo? Remember CG's health issues?

We got a fabulous letter in the mail the other day. CG was up to renew term for life insurance. They declined. Due to carotid issues and hands biopsies, he is now not covered with life insurance so that the kids and I could maintain (ha!) our farking mortgage and bills if he died as our sole income source.

Now PB? She comes home Wednesday with flu and it took all of me not to go there.

You know. There!

Yes, H1N1. There was some solace that perhaps we would die together. Heh! Now I am being dramatic.

She is fine. I just hope the flu bug is all over CG's stuff so those stealing pigs get what is coming to them.

I know. I know. Looking over my blog, sooooo much for not swearing, but this has been the month.

Nice, eh?

So do I get a pass for not blogging?

Please. Promise me you all will come back.

My advertisers are sending disappointed emails. I send back excuses.

Good news: Finally purchased new laptop. It's pretty. It's fast. It's shiny. I tap it's keys as I write hoping it will lower the stress levels. It again doesn't have my files, but I know they are safe on my old laptop if Carbonite continues to fail me.

Bad news: Four days into restore and I still don't have 10 percent of my files including calendar from Carbonite. So much for simple restore. Bastards. It keeps freezing while they send automated assurances that it's working just fine. I've reinstalled the backup software FIVE times!

Best news?

We received an unmarked package yesterday.

A good samaritan and/or guilty mother of evil teenage thief sent us CG's passport, moleskin journal, a couple of medical cards, our property tax bill, and a few wallet pics in the mail.

No return address or note was included saying they found these items (along with no return of electronics) has me leaning toward guilty mom.

The sending label was written in child-like cursive. The back of the package said in definite older women's elegant cursive to return package to police if not correct address.

Hmmm? What do you think. I know if I found something and returned it, I might have included a note to help out identify where items were "found."

Guilty conscious after seeing cute baby pictures? Maybe.


This is what I've been up to.

And you?

Rant away. I need to think about someone else's troubles. I've been using gardening as therapy, but there is only so much manual labor my back can take.

Give me something to take my mind off, m'kay my friends?

Pretty please?

I promise to be a btter blogger next week?

Blog notes: Thx for the Flickr pic by INTVGene and
by TheTruthAbout... and by kortini and by Chad Horwedel


JayInYoFace said...

I guess this is the month for everyone's troubles. I feel for you. We may not be having the same troubles, but oh my how many we all have!

To distract you: My one means of transportation has finally broken down, after months of first birthday planning, so we are currently broke and with no car for work. Bumming rides, ugh. The real kicker is that we just bought 4 new tires, had a full tune up and some engine work, then BAM! flood waters!! Hundreds of dollars that could still be in my pocket. Older sister has been diagnosed with cervical cancer. my baby girl has come down with a very disturbing symptom , which Ive been advised to keep an eye on until another symptom clears up the cause. My hubby has gotten a promotion at work but with no car, and no idea how long we will be without, I worry for his job security. As a result of all this stress, it seems I have a never ending migraine. I might explode.

I'm sending lots of good energy your way.

Scout's Honor said...

Is it a full moon? Is there something in the air? Arrrgh.

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles.

Thanks for keeping me company in the shit storm. Sometimes when everything goes very wrong, it's nice to know you aren't alone.

Thanks for stopping by. :) Crossing my fingers, knees, and ankles for us all.

Dumblond said...

Whoa. Ho. Ly. Shit!
I don't even know what to say to all that! No wonder you were MIA for awhile. Perfectly understandable.
Things have been pretty even-keel for us.
Hubs exploded when I dyed some of my hair purple but he got over it...
Found out that my SIL might have MS...still waiting on difinitive diagnosis...
My mom just joined facebook...
Oh, and I still have a fat ass. I mean huge!
Hope things start looking up for you and the fam!

LSANFO said...

Dang...that was a long, long list of trouble. I not sure I'd handle 10% of that well. Remind me to buy you a coffee and some prozac one of these days.

JamaGenie said...

Scout, look on the bright side: it happened all at once. Why string it out over several months...or a year...or two years. I'm sure you don't think so right now, but someday...say when you're 97...you'll look back and laugh. The geese poop? Why shouldn't they get their shot at ya too? ;}

But whatever you do, **DO NOT** say "it can't get any worse". Because it can and it will...sort of like an invite to the cosmos to 'kick us again...please'.

Hang in there! Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Yeah, yeah...blah, blah, blah, blah. ;D

carrie said...

Hang in there! I'm mustering up all the good juju in the universe and sending it your way!

Honeybell said...

Oh honey. I wish I could send something more than a stumble your way! Hang in there . . .

Scout's Honor said...

Dumb blond: couldn't have said it better. Heh! "Ho. Ly. Shit." So true, my friend. :)Purple hair??? Awesome. There better be pic on your blog, m'kay? I'm going there next. Fat ass? so there, my friend. Mother on Facebook? ayeayeyea. Yikes!

LSanFO: Oh, I am sure you can handle this and much more, but I'll take the coffee next time I see you. Venti Italian roast drip with 2 shots espresso, room for cream, equal, and whip on top. Got that? :) I know, disgusting. Heh!

JamaGenie: What a unique perspective. Looooove it. Why not taken the poison all at once rather than feel like crap before you die. Heh! No, never will the "couldn't get worse" words pass these lips. Actually, catching up on other blogs, I feel all kinds of humbled and am embarassed how whiny my blog sounds. I know it definitely could be worse and I know I am blessed with what I do have. I just wish I could get rid of the stressed feeling. I don't function well like this. I need to get my snark back and I am actively working on it.

Carrie: Totally feeling the ju-ju. Thanks my friend. Now if I could stop eating the jujubees. Need to stop the emotional eating. Heh! Got ice cream?

Honeybell: No worries your words are enough. Although stumbles DO make me smile. Stumbles make everything better for bloggers. Thanks. You rock.

You all rock. Thanks for stopping by...

Ann(ie) said...

wow wow wow...dontcha just love those times in life? It's been strangely mellow in my neck of the woods for too long....I'm seriously waiting for all to fall to shit. I mentioned lemon drops soon, right. Did I mention they're on me?????? xo.

Fantastic Forrest said...

I am shocked that one person has all this to deal with at once. When something bad happens to me, I look around and realize that other people have it much worse.

All I can tell you is that I have a friend who has prostate cancer with a high likelihood he won't get better, a friend with cancer of the esophagus, a friend whose mother has 6 months to live with bone cancer. And one dear friend lost her 18 year old son in a boating accident. So at least your worries aren't fatal. Feel better?

Still, you have my total sympathy. And your sisters are jerks for not accepting your apology. But they should never have expected you to pay something toward the parents' car to begin with.

Scout's Honor said...

Annie!!! Yay! I haven't heard from you in a while. If you still have my email, can you send me that password again? I can't read your blog without it and am still working on the laptop restore.

As for lemon drops, you are sooooo on! We were in your neck of the woods tonight. We went to Blossom Asian Bistro in downtown Renton because we had a gift certificate. CG had a lemongrass martini--it was divine and I was thinking of this post the whole time. We need to get our cocktails on!

Fantastic Forrest: You are so right. That is why I ended this post this way because I wanted to hear from you all and know that I am not alone and you are not alone.

I do agree no matter what is going on, there is someone in this world much worse. I have a roof over my head, my kids are healthy, my marriage is strong despite my annoyance at the knucklehead-heh!

I am really sorry to hear about your friends. That is a lot to bear. Crossing my fingers for them all.

As for my sister, I should have provided a link. It's totally serparate from the car. The sister who asked is the most awesomest little sister and totally supports me on this blog. She chided me for feeling guilty about my TMI, not being able to help email. She understood and expected nothing.

The sister issue happened in january. It's actually the elder sisters who discovered my blog and were not happy with what I wrote about our family and their religion. I've edited posts, but 2 months later, there is still silence. Just don't know how to mend that one...Sigh.

It is what it is. I've provided a link on this post above if you want more detail.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Wow...and um, wow...That's a lot to take in. MIA?? You certainly have earned it. I would sit and hug you and drink lots of martinis if I could...

My life...well, not all hearts and flowers. I totally broke down afte weeks of personal crap and told my husband that all I want to do is tell him, and my mother, and any "friends" I have here to Piss Off, and go start fresh somewhere new...

I'm hoping I got it out of my system...time will tell.

BUT...you certainly got a little ray of sunshine with that box...note or no note, guilty mom, or guilty theif...It's more than you could have gotten otherwise...Take that as a blessing, and milk the goodness of it for every drop you can squeeze.

JamaGenie said...

I can't believe nobody had Stumbled this one! Well, it's there now. ;D

Ann(ie) said...

Just resent. Let me know if you don't get it...annmiller71@comcast.net. :)

The Weiss' said...

Good Lord, and I thought I had it rough.

Erik said...

Man, that's rough. Hang in there, and it'll get better with time - things always do. In the meantime, my thoughts are with you.
I've been through a few similar bits so I feel your pain, but never quite so much all at once - can't imagine the stress :(

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