United States of Motherhood: In a Daze: ADD with a Splash of Motherhood, a Sprinkle of Hearing Loss, and a Twist of Insanity

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

In a Daze: ADD with a Splash of Motherhood, a Sprinkle of Hearing Loss, and a Twist of Insanity


Dazed.

It is the definition of a mother.

With sleep deprivation, mommy brain and stressors of child-rearing, we acquire the ability for self-preservation by learning to tune out.

I, having been a mother now for over 13 years, have taken it to an art form. I am an artiste.

I sit at my laptop and somewhat hear the kids squabbles, but shrug, not really.

I hear them teasing each other and badgering me for treats and sweets.

I generally ignore. Most of the time, I don't even hear them. It's as if I am now the one wrapped in a womb of my own making.

Muffled.

Protected.

Seeking peace and yes, at times, solitude for my sanity.

Besides, it's good for them to work it out on their own, and more importantly, they should know by now that badgering in this house gets you nowhere.

It doesn't hurt that I have a hearing problem that corresponds with the frequencies of vowels. Yep, everyone sounds like they are muttering like Gollum so all the more reason to ignore.

Lately, however, it's caused some communication problems in my marriage. You see, after asking three times for this or that and I continue to plink on the keyboard, oblivious, he gets frustrated.

Or better yet, I get angry about something that he swears he told me about multiple times before. Was I glazing or is he covering? Hmmmm...

So, all you feminists will shudder, but lately, I've instructed to husband to do a sharp clap-clap to get my attention. Yes, like a dog. I even suggested one of these before the clapping methods.

We laughed.

Luckily, clapping? It seems to work. It's just enough of a shock out of the netherworld of Scout's mind to jarr her back to reality. Oh, yes, CG is trying to communicate. Must listen.

Yes, I know you think I am crazy. Nope, just ADD with a splash of motherhood, a sprinkle of hearing loss, and a twist of insanity.

As for the children? No, just for the record, the kids have not been given the privilege of the clap.

Nope, some things are just traditional with motherhood and tuning out squabbling kids and badgering is high up there on my list of what NOT to hear.

Yes, my friends, it's true. I've become a sad wife version of the clapper. I know my husband is scheming to make this work in the marital bed. Heh! Not likely.

Thx for the Flickr pics by whatmegsaid

7 comments:

Amy said...

I feel so much better now, knowing that I am not the only one who spaces out like that. I'm not sure that I will share your clapping idea - though I think it would work. I just would hate to me disturbed! :)

Scout's Honor said...

Heh! No, Amy is is not just you. Yes, be careful how you use the clap too. I just added to my post a worry that the husband might think this would work in bed. Need to nip that in the bud. No-GO! Don't even try it buster. I need my sleep.

Kristin.... said...

"I generally ignore. Most of the time, I don't even hear them. It's as if I am now the one wrapped in a womb of my own making.

Muffled.

Protected.

Seeking peace and yes, at times, solitude for my sanity.

Besides, it's good for them to work it out on their own, and more importantly, they should know by now that badgering in this house gets you nowhere."

YES YES YES! I think it's a syndrome of having many children. I don't have the hearing loss and the clapping won't happen here, but I so relate.

Anonymous said...

*clap clap* are you listening? Good.

This post is hilarious.

I don't think I could handle the clapping, but whatever works for you.

In fact, you could use the clapping by day and the dog training clicker by night. You could get a dog collar to go with it, yes?

Paraphrased from the clicker website:

"You have a clicker in your hand, and some small treats in your pocket... You have chosen what you are going to train for this session...

Now you've got her attention! Let's say she happens to sit. [Sit on what exactly is not mentioned]. You immediately click and give a large "jackpot" treat because she's done exactly what you want -- even though she didn't know you wanted it!"

This will probably be popular with husbands everywhere.

Click click!

Amelia

Lori E said...

Okay nobody wants the clap in bed. You need antibiotics for that.

Beau said...

Click, click!

Traci said...

Whew, I thought it was just me :) LOL
This post is hysterical but so true. Love the clapping idea.

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