The Real Monster I’m Running From is Little Debbie

Yep, this comes in a T-shirt my friends and it's on my list for Santa. Thanks be Woot for identifying why people ceaselessly run on treadmills. **

"With nary a Pilates class on the entire planet, how did our cave-bound ancestors develop the well-defined pecs and abs we see in textbook illustrations today? Of course, it wasn’t running from dinosaurs. The archaeological record suggests that early humans were bred as pack animals by the Vorgoxxii, a race of alien silicon miners from a planet beyond the stars. They only looked like dinosaurs.

Wear this shirt: so people know why you’re not exercising: lack of large predators in your area.

Don’t wear this shirt: under the assumption that it in any way refers to the novel or film known as Jurassic Park or any sequels or other works deriving therefrom, without express written consent of all parties with a valid claim to any portion or aspect of said intellectual property.

This shirt tells the world: “The real monster I’m running from is Little Debbie.”

We call this color: Tyrannosaurus Blax."

Yep, it's on my wish list if anyone was thinking I need some motivation. Hint!!


**Disclaimer: And, no Woot is NOT paying me to say that. Pashaw! Paid to blog? Um, that's crazy talk. But if they were to say happen upon this and spontaneously decided in the spirit of the season to send me a little sumpin' sumpin', I need a women's large. Large because of my ginormous boobs and wide shoulders silly! NOT because of Little Debbie because really!!! Who eats Little Debbies? Godiva? Yes. Hagen Dazs? Oh, baby. Cheesecake Factory? Um Hello lovah! But cheap, waxy chocolate on stale cake? Um, I'd rather be running from Dinosaurs or flossing or shaving calluses from my husband's feet. Gah!

'lisciously scribed by Scout's Honor @ 5:00 AM