United States of Motherhood: June 2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I Told Him So!

We have newly acquired a huge fish tank in the Scouty household.

Don't ask.

Blame it on all this summer sun making this Seattlite sun mad and incapable of resisting the pleas of three beasties.

It was either this or a cat. Sooooo....

The aquarium won out over kitty liter because it filled the gaping hole left in the built-in cabinet in the family room after we got a wide screen TV.

I cannot tell you how much that hole bothered me.

Too big as a shelf.

Too big and arched to put a door on it.

No symmetry.

Ah, OCD flares again.

Eye twitch.

Beasties request made perfect sense.

Aquarium fit better that cat nasty box.

We also acquired 5 new finned friends.

It's has been a few years since our last fish tragedy so I relented.

We each named a fish.

CG named his fish, "Fillet-O!"


Say it a couple of times aloud and see if anyone around you snickers.

Sounds like something else, yes?

I told CG last night, as I rolled my eyes, that it might not be the best of appellations.

He countered with innocent outrage that I had a filthy mind.

Dirty mind? Me?


Maybe true. However, I didn't believe his innocent outrage for a second.


PB has been calling CG's fish "Fellatio" all morning.


I rest my case.

I do admit though that my fish, a Plecostomus Agae Eater named "Francoise the French Kisser" or "Frenchie" for short will be in good company.

I do believe CG and I might indeed be well matched.

Dirty minds think alike. Heh!

Monday, June 22, 2009

No Offense! But I Plan To Be a Bit Wordy Today...

I found this product to the left and thought how appropriate.

If you have children or spend time around children, you've probably been hearing this title above a lot lately.

It's unfortunate that I seem to be.

It's the preface the kids these days say before letting loose their thoughts in rather blunt and oft brutal precision on someone--usually a friend, peer, and yes, even adult.

Somewhere along the way, this latest generation of kids have decided that saying, "No offense," takes away the sting, hurt, and betrayal of saying, for instance, they "hate" your clothing, your hair, or think "you're not the sharpest tool in the shed," etc.


I've run into it quite a bit when I work in my kids' schools and now it seems to have hit home on my son's Facebook account where a bunch of his friends that are girls (some exes, some platonic) roasted him a new one.

I believe one quote was something along the lines of, "No offense, [Eldest], but I don't see what any girl would see in you."

Yep, this bullet was said by a so-called friend.

Ohhh, of course, any pre-teen boy wouldn't find that offensive to have a friend write those words on his front page where his 89 other friends at school and swim team could see...all because she wrote "no offense" first.

Instantly neutralized. Poof!


My question is how did two simple words become the salve that allow one's friends to hurl insults and criticisms?

Sadly, I am now hearing my 7 and 9 year old let loose with the same gusto.

It's infectious.

It appears honesty trumps feelings nowadays.

What ever happened to the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?"

Oh, Thumper, I miss you.

Civilized society once curbed their tongue.

Now it's fair game to say something rude to those you love and respect where once you would have curbed your tongue out of respect, if you only preface it with, "No offense."

It needs to be realized that allowing our children to use the "no offense deodorant" as a shield to say things we might not otherwise say is just wrong. In my house, those words are met with just as swift a response a a four-letter word.

So, let me get in on the game:

No offense, Eldest's friends, but saying no offense before saying something ugly and rude still makes you look ugly and rude.

As for Eldest, luckily, he's a preteen boy and it rolled off his back since he does not seem to care much about anyone's opinion. I am not sure PB would fare so well.

So. my questions, my friends, is do I get involved?

Should I talk to the young lady or her parents? I see them both regularly.

As a mother, it kills me not to say anything since this girl has also been quite physical in the past...

Oh, don't get me started on that one. Okay, maybe a few words on that topic. I deserve to be a bit wordy since it's been a while between posts. Heh!

I am finding more and more that while young men are taught never to harm even a hair on a girl's head, we've encountered one girl after another who has failed to be taught the same.

There was one who left scratches and bruises on him because she "liked" him. She was 18 months older, 4 inches taller and outweighed him by 30 lbs.

Another likes to with all regularity to kick my son when he gets mouthy. He's been writing quite a few checks that have been cashed in with bruises. It seems parents look the other way because the checks are written by girls.

He had yet one more throw a full water bottle in a car on the highway at his face which gave him a fat lip. He's lucky she didn't break a tooth. No apology. No repercussions.

I am just waiting to find out they all said, "No offense," before they slap him.

My friends, especially those with preteens and teenage girls, a little help here? Advice? I don't think my inclination to bitch-slap a 13 year old is exactly the best policy. Nor is saying to this NSFW below response to their parents:

Living with my son, I know he's not innocent. He can give verbally as good as he gets, but the physical aspects of his female friendships coupled with somewhat of cyber-bully comments are getting to me of late.

We already had to take issue with one bully at middle school this last year slamming him into lockers leaving with a stiff neck. It got resolved pretty quickly since our school does have a no bullying policy. However, I wonder how many bullying incidents, where girls are the aggressors, simply aren't being reported.

Boys are just supposed to take it?

It's making me angry that we've taught our son to never be physical and we are trying to teach him that words do hurt and other parents may not be raising their children to have that very same civilized respect.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Stupid Uterus

Source: http://xkcd.com/594/

My geeky husband sent me this. So typical. Heh!

So, all you waiting with bated breath for my decision?

Start breathing or you might go the way of poor David Carradine. Okay, maybe not that bad, but it's still going to be a while.

I am waiting to make a decision after school lets out and family visits. I don't want to rush it.

I know, it sounds like I am avoiding the issue, but seriously, I have/had two class parties to plan, 1 teacher gift and still collecting money, swim meet last weekend and one this next weekend, two concerts for two different kids, literacy day, field day, 38 swim practices for three kids, two gymnastics practices, a 30 minutes slide show and 25 CDs to burn, 23 personalized laminate cups for 1st grade momentos, and staying up until midnight helping Eldest convert a huge project on PowerPoint to add mp3 and movie files...All in the last two weeks!

Then, with my house trashed, I have 7 family members coming a week later. I have not planned anything. Don't know where they'll sleep yet. Don't know what we'll eat. No idea where we'll go. Luckily, they're okay with that. The guilt is still coming at me in waves.

My point being I really am not procrastinating.


Not putting myself first either, but not procrastinating.

Hopefully, every- thing will calm down in July...Right-o!

So I still need to focus and be at complete peace with any decision I make:

Plucking out one's bits like cherries seems so permanent which sounds both good and bad at once.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Friday Night Funny: Hammer Pants Time

Have you seen those drive by Zombie gatherings? Now imagine them in gold lame Hammer pants:

The customers' face are priceless.

To Friend or Un-friend: Negotiating the High School Drama of the Internet, Stumbleupon, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and Beyond.

My friends, the Internet can be so high school.

Everyone is vulnerable.

Give someone a shield of anonymity and a high speed connection and it ain't nothing, but drama all over again.

The hysterics. The bullying. The campaigning. My friends against your friends. My posse against your posse.

I try not to let it get to me. People with too much time on their hands. I mainly try to steer clear.

Alas, I still get a little slighted and even have had my feelings hurt when I've been unfriended myself because I wrote something that runs contrary to one of my readers or "friends" own beliefs.

Isn't the Internet a space to discuss?

To be open-minded?

People seemed to be so easily offended. In fact, CG pointed out CNN covered this very topic yesterday.

So, a blogging friend, Pinkpackrat, recently wrote a post about finding Obama inspiring. I may not have agreed, but I love that I can get different perspectives from a variety of people and blogs.

Sadly, she got the short end of the stick and was unfriended. Not by me. No reason or explanation. Just cut off.

Deja Vu.

This was my windy response to her:
Oh. honey. I hate being unfriended.

You may have guessed, I am conservative, but I always appreciate a well-balanced, open minded discussion.

I lost 10 friends on Stumble and about 15 regular readers on my blog because of my gay marriage posts that I stumbled.

A Republican that supports gay marriage right? Pashaw!

Personally, my thoughts are if I want less government that means less government for everybody including staying out of people's lives and right of marriage and to be happy.

So that said, it always sucks to be unfriended. Worse is when you get a liberal and conservative using your post to be disrespectful to each other in comments.

You like them both and they want you to pick a side...grrr...I am already a mother to three. Sigh. That's happened more than once.

I like respectful disagreement. So perhaps your unfriends knew they couldn't articulate their positions respectfully so chose to unfriend. Maybe it's a good thing?

That's what I tried to convince myself of as well as : Do you/I really only want a fair-weathered friend and yes man?

Not me. No worries here. I may not always agree or "up" by I do read with an open mind.

The only time I unfriend is if they constantly demand reviews or spam me to death with Noni juice or hotels in far flung places or SEO software. (Note: Or are openly hateful or racist)

I know, I know. Such a pushover.

Me? Scout.

It happens. I sometimes like ke
eping the peace.
So, my friends, how do you deal with the unfriend?

Or being kicked off someone's blogroll without a why?

Or never getting on their blogroll in the first place even though they visit, you comment, they comment, you blogroll, and ... nothing?

It's like being picked last at school or better yet, having the friend that doesn't acknowledge your presence at school.

What about Facebook? Do you take it personally if they ignore your requests?

Just curious because lately I've run into a whole lot of close-minded, teenage mentality peeps on the blogiverse: If you don't believe exactly as I believe, I am taking my ball and going home.

The balance though is there are so many better, positive blogs out there that makes it worthwhile and most of them don't reflect my own beliefs because my friends, I already got a mirror at home.

Thx for the Flickr pics by just.Luc, Eddie~S ,
by nouQraz and by carf .

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

What a Waste of My Culinary Skillz: Scout-berry Cobbler

Doesn't this look delicious? Beautiful.

It's fresh from the oven and still bubbling.

Can you taste it? I can envision a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream cloyingly melting into it's tart and crumbly mass.

Butter, sugar, and berries.

Does it get any better?

Not really, but it can get worse. You see this Scoutberry Cobbler was made without measurement. A haphazard splash of this, a dash of that. It didn't matter. It can never be replicated. Never.

Sadly? It will never be tasted. Never.

It's for PB's market day. Something about trade and her team being Australia and mumble mumble...oh, yes, Australia exports oats and fruit and sugar cane and dairy...blah, blah...can you tell school is almost over?

So, very educational. Ahem. Yeah. Educational especially since it was my butt making the cobbler at 9 PM tonight before I am off for an all-day field trip with Li'l Man to the Seattle Zoo tomorrow. Joy.

To be truthful, the teacher said it was on the kids to make anything they wanted to display.

It could have been a paper maiched pie or even straight up paper.

However, tell that to my soft-hearted brown eye girl who had already extricated a promise from me to help her (that would be me mostly) make one of my apparently famous, whipped up in 30 minute cobblers the kids love.

She had mentioned it to her teammates. They were counting on me.

So this cobbler is, but a sample product.

Not enough to be shared or eaten.

Instead it will be touched, pawed, poked, smelled, sneezed and breathed on by a huge mass of elementary school kids with less than exemplary hygiene at the school's international market.

Germs cloyingly melting into it's crumbly tart exterior. Doesn't sound as nice, eh?

So alas, to the dustbin it will go.

What a waste. She's a beauty.

By the look of her, the best I've ever made which is doubly sad because I measured nothing; so, no, results will be unlikely to be duplicated. Sigh.

Ah well, this below is also a beauty, the best I've ever made, and again, can never be duplicated in her perfection:

Beautiful. Well worth the energy...

The Greatest of Sacrifices: Safeguarding My Husband's Health

I am a hero.

A hero!

I saved my husband from eating a doughnut yesterday...

I ate it.

That's how much I love him.


So much for oatmeal.

And CG? You're welcome.

Thx for the flickr pic by _mpd_

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hello Future: No Nets To Catch Males Here

Net to catch the males? Bah! I think three is plenty in this household.

Fitted with coins, keys, and candies for cuties? See if CG had had a belt like this one mentioned, we wouldn't have been at risk for identity theft.

And women wearing pants? Oh pish!

An atmosphere that is scientifically kept to the right temperature? Sigh. Did I mention it's 90 degrees here and we don't have air conditioning?

Ugh, Seattle isn't supposed to be this hot. I note that they did not mention global warming in the video. I am thinking those rip off sleeves look very tempting right now.

The Land o' Tarty Living: Scout's Mockjitos Recipe

Serves 40 -- 8 ounce cups

Punch Concentrate

60 Limes—juiced night before (7.5 cups)

2-½ cups sugar (superfine if you have it)

5 cups packed fresh mint (stems and all since it will be easier to strain later)

2 — 2-liter bottles of Seltzer Water

1 large bag party ice


10 limes — thinly sliced day of serving — set aside

15 sprigs mint to set aside

½ cup sugar — set aside (coarse sugar and turbinado sugar is nice, but white will do)

In a large bowl, combine lime juice, sugar, and 5 cups mint; stir until sugar has fully dissolved. Take back of wooden spoon or muddler and crush/bruise mint against side of bowl to release mint oil. Get brutal. Take out your aggression on that mint, my friends. Pour into large pitcher or Ziploc bags overnight in refrigerator to steep. Don’t store in anything metallic—only glass or plastic.

Next day: Strain concentrate to remove mint since it will be browned from steeping overnight.

Stir or Shake concentrate to incorporate any sugars that have settles at bottom of refrigerated container(s). Add concentrate to large punch bowl. Add one bag party ice. Stir. Add 2 – 2 liters of club soda. Stir slowly to incorporate concentrate with soda. Slice limes and take stems off 15 springs of mint. Add limes and mint to bowl to garnish. Taste and add more sugar if needed, but this should be rather tart and refreshing—not sweet.

Put 2 ounces of punch into shallow bowl. Dip clean cup’s rim into liquid. Add ½ sugar set aside into second shallow bowl. Dip wettened cup in sugar to rim. Ladle punch into cup. Try to get each cup 1 sprig mint and/or slice lime to garnish.

Not feeling mock-ish? Add 2 liters of rum or one big ass bottle of Bacardi from Costco to punch bowl before you add seltzer. Yep, spike that bowl. Heh!

Need smaller amount? Halve everything. Still too much? Halve it again. Freakin' lightweight.

Enjoy, my friends. Perfect for a warm summer's day.

Thx 4 the pic by massdistraction 'cause these never last long enough to take pictures.

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