Blacklisted! My Lily White Tush Was Blacklisted??

{Can you tell I'm squinting in very meany Clint Eastwood way as I write this?}

Grrrrrr....

Let me tell you a little story, m'kay? CG went on a little trip this week. Forty-eight hours in Bay Area.

{Sniffle}

No one to hang out with during the day or mock. No one to make me coffee and bring it to me on bended knee.

Of course, since my blog incriminates and mocks him too many time to count my blog is so scintillating, forty-eight whole hours was simply too long for him to not check out between meetings.

He types in " http://unitedstatesofmotherhood.com take me to the best blog in the whole wide world that makes my heart get twitterpated and execute Patrick Swayze-worthy, lovely, geeky Grand Jetés."

(Are we all getting an image of CG in a pink tutu and pocket protector? Yes? Good.}

With panic, he realizes he's been cut off from my lovely words.

Cut. Off.

Sadly, IT TURNS OUT MY BLOG WAS BLOCKED AT HIS CORPORATE CALIFORNIA ABODE.

What? What? Them there are fighting words, mister.

Seems his company uses Websense which deemed my blog too hot to handle. Me? Inappropriate for the casual Friday set? What-ev-er.

Hmmmph.

He told me it didn't even give a reason such as adult content or bad manners or blogging from one's commode.

Nope. Nothing to go on.

Just blocked.



I started wondering what my blog could possibly be categorized and caterwauled that I could be losing practically tens of readers to actual working as corporate wage slaves. You know doing their jobs rather than reading my beautifferic inanities.

Now how tragic is that?

This. Was. Wrong.

I checked another categorization place Lightspeed that said I was practically a lily white, squeaky clean, paragon of virtue in the blogosphere compared to other dens of horror. I was even {don't laugh}...

Miraculously?

"G Rated."



Hey! I said don't laugh or I'll have to start throwing F-bombs and then my squeaky clean, lily whiteness will get all muddy!

So then I read about how hard it was to be unblocked and once flagged, always flagged, yadda, yadda.

Shit! Err, sugar boogers!

So, I wrote all enraged and frothing and huffing and puffing to Websense. How dare they block little ol' Scout. What did I ever do to them? Meanies.

With venom, I slayed them with vitriolic words like this:

"Uhhh, howdy? I am blocked. Why? {wobbley chin tremble} Sniffle."

Within 24 hours, they wrote back. They reviewed. I was all good:

Thank you for writing to Websense.

The site you submitted has been reviewed. We have made an update to the following URL(s) in our master database to address this issue:

http://unitedstatesofmotherhood.com/ - Social Networking and Personal Sites

Categorization updates should be available in the next scheduled publication of the database. A new database is published every business day, five days a week, Pacific Standard Time. You should notice any updates referred to in this message within 72 hours.

Thank you for your assistance,

The Websense Database Services Staff

Wow. That was easy.

I thought I was going to need to slay dragons and besmirch their reputation in fine mommy blogging spirit. You know. Get dirty.




Nope.

So the moral of the story if ever you are to find yourself blocked because of some crazy ass, ridiculous, Draconian, Big Brother software that evil corporations employ to {silly them} keep their employees, you know, productive?

Stay calm, giggle, show some lily white, squeaky clean leg and it will all be just fine.




Honestly though? I think a dusty leg would work to because Websense seems purty nice.

So to you unproductive tens of readers sitting in cubes at this very moment? Stop working and get back to reading, m'kay?

Okay, now back to mocking my husband...

'lisciously scribed by Scout's Honor @ 9:35 AM