United States of Motherhood: Calgon, Can I Drink You?

Monday, March 15, 2010

Calgon, Can I Drink You?

You've seen the commercials:

If a bath helps that much for the harried housefrau, then I am betting drinking the bottle still not would kill the stress of helping three kids which have ridiculously detailed, major science investigations and poster boards due for the science fair on Thursday. Nope!

Nor would it help for the Northwest Age Group Sectionals 3-day swim meet coming up for which PB and Eldest qualified.  Three days 7 AM until 8 PM.  Didn't get a hotel this time so add 45-60 minute commute to that. Sitting in hot sauna swim meet with overly competitive swim moms with no escape. At least the majority of them aren't on our team anymore. Sigh!

Did I mention PB's 6th grade orientation, the kids' last chance swim practice for the meet, PB and Li'l Man's science fair, and packing for said meet all explode into impossible to do it all on Thursday evening?

Last week, I helped Li'l Man trick the rest into eating raw potatoes and onions and apples blind-folded.

 I then helped Eldest wrap and tie his expensive swim suits to a football, take them to the bottom of a pool, and then time it's ascent.  Over and over and bloody over.

The week before, I helped PB forensically brush off worm casting on rotten blueberries, corn and egg shells before weighing to figure out what the hundreds of red wiggler composting worms that have resided in my pantry for the last month prefer.

Saturday, I spent the day driving swim carpool at 7 AM, hitting a pool rep meeting at 8 AM, wildly buying presents for kid's parties invited to at 9 AM, driving carpool back at 10:30 AM, driving the kids two different out of town parties which were of course off-set by hours.

Yesterday I spent 11 hours helping kids interpret data, editing their hypotheses and controlled variables, and then uploaded their pictures to the school slide show for the fair.

Today, I've blocked out the whole day to printing out their pics and looking over the rest of their work so we can finish up posters after school, homework, and 4 hours swim practice and commute.

I am so sick of mommy homework. CG finished his last final exams and papers for his MBA this week-end.  Whoop! 

He asked me to read them.  Not whoop! 

This girl cannot take anymore homework that is not her own.  Yep, I am getting Deja Vu from last year. I am rethinking this lofty law school goal I've always had.  Now that CG is done, it's time to think of me and really my mind is slamming shut at all the homework involved.  I am burnt out on homework and I haven't even been in school in more than a dozen years.

Should I mention the birthday kid of one party was running a high fever that I found about as my son gave him a welcome hug?  If we get sick this week, we are toast!

So I am thinking a bottle of Calgon won't do it, but perhaps this:

The highlight of this week-end?  My teenager made us Sunday breakfast.  Hot, steaming pancakes, cold orange juice, and nothing to do but relax. Sadly, my boy didn't make bacon or Bloody Marys.  Haven't started that part of his training.  Heh.

There's always next time because this mommy loves her vodka and has one more drink ticket this month.

I am sure in another dozen years, when all my babies are in college, graduate school,  or careers, I will miss these moments of helping glue on pie charts, find funky fonts, and figuring out what the difference is between controlled, manipulated, and responding variables that I am sure I did not know when I was in high school, much less 2nd, 5th, and 8th grades.  

But for now?

So burnt out.

Source: Flickr by pascalbovet.com


Fran Magbual said...

I'm exhausted just reading about it! All I can say is you've got a spa day coming...and not the kind that comes with your teeth-cleaning! :-)

Charitha said...

Whew!!! u are totally amazing --- I hope i will have that much energy when my son gets to school! U deserve an off day at a SPA... with lots of massage time.

Momintheknow said...

You won't miss it, TRUST me! I always hated the parent homework and was so happy to kiss it goodbye when my kids graduated, as well as the carpooling, sports, scouts, etc, etc, etc. Just the luxury of a Saturday or Sunday morning to myself is heaven! Not scambling to finish homework and last minute projects after I got out of work at 5 during the week? Priceless! You will enjoy the memories of these times with your kids, but you won't miss it, believe me! LOL

Alex said...

Shoulda called me, my BSc involved much to much stats work: ANOVA, MANOVA, cluster analysis....blah, blah. Then again it's been a decade since I left and I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, so on second thoughts, maybe I'm not your best bet.

Congrats on the hardcore multi-tasking

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