Devoured By Inappropriate Conversations
Driving home from swim practice last night, Li'l Man asks for some clarification from backseat.
Li'l Man: "Mom, what does devour mean?"Yes, my friends, we have entered the gang up on mom through crude veiled double-entendre years which totally flusters me. So bizarre to see this kind of humor in one's little beasties. Gah!
Me {looking in rear view mirror}: It means to masticate with great vigor and ferociousness."
Li'l Man: "Did you say masturbate??"
Me: "No mastic..."
Li'l Man {interrupting}: "You said masturbate with what?"
Me: "Nooo! Masticate with vig..."
Li'l Man: "Masturbate. You said masturbate."
Two other spawn giggle incessantly. Grrrr!
Me {sharply}: "No, I said masticate with great vigor and..."
Li'l Man: "What's vigor?"
Me {mimicking up and down movement}: "To move something with force as in to shake with great vigor while strangling..."
Eldest {sitting next to me}: "So to masturbate with great vigor."
Me: "No, no the word is masticate and with great vigor and ferociousness like a beast."
Eldest:"Um, so masturbate..."
Me: "No, not masturbate."
Eldest {slyly from passenger seat next to me}: "But isn't to shake up and down with great vigor masturbating?"
Kids twitter and I realize I've been set up.
Me {blushing}: {{{{Sigh}}}}
9 Witty Comments For Me:
OMG! This is hilarious. I laughed until I cried.
hey this is Roger. I enjoyed how your definition of "devour" included the word "masticate". That's going down the rabbit hole right there...and you did :)
teehee snicker...you were HAD! The good news is it'll get worse the older they get! 'The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree' is soooooo true. teehee...snort snort. (-:
Maticate? Who uses that word?
I think I would have made the same joke.
Neva: Are you laughing at me or with me? :)
Roger: Definitely one for the rabbit hole. ;)
JamaGenie: Worse? How much worse? Gah! CG and the boys were coming up with euphemisms for slapping the salami the other day and it was endless...
Dumblond: That Berkeley education has to be good for something yes? :) Actually CG would blame the 5 on my English AP test for my high faluting vocabulary. I'd just say he's covetous? Or maybe envious? No just jealous. Hee!
This was so funny!
These are the kind of conversations I have with my husband. What does that say about his maturity level?
Diction and enunciation = saves you every time.
Well, thank heaven they're clever!
What I want to know is how did you come up with your def in the first place? masticate!
But now you can use the word "DEVOUR" at your whim anytime you want to make a point.
enjoy the beasties.
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