United States of Motherhood: April 2010

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Boys Scouts, The Great Outdoors, and... Video Games?

Yep, video games.

As in the Boy Scouts have a freaking merit badge for video games.

My husband CG is an Eagle Scout.  I come from a family of scouts.  My dad was a Scout leader.  

There was once a time that I felt guilty we didn't  have time with swimming to get our two boys into Scouts.  Admittedly, I also felt a little relief  too because then I didn't have to address and reconcile their homophobic tendencies and inability to see agnostics and atheists Scouts might benefit from their program with the benefits of self-reliance, leaderships, survival, and knots.

But now video games?  They have cheapened their program with video games...what most of us mothers enroll our kids in organized programs to avoid? This from Mashable.com:

"Newest Boy Scout Badge: Video Games!

 Kids these days really don’t know how good they have it. Back in my day, having one’s video game obsession hobby sanctioned by the venerable Boy Scouts of America was merely a pipe dream of some Utopian future.

That future is now, people: The Boy Scouts have officially introduced a video games badge into their awards curriculum. Earning the belt loop requires explaining the ESRB video game rating system, officially inking video game sessions into your calendar (holla!) along with homework and chores (boo!) and learning to play a new “approved” video game.

Young Scout gamers can go on to earn an academics pin by completing five of nine potential requirements, none of which includes beating “Through the Fire and Flames” on expert. Bummer — that skill will surely translate somewhere, someday.

What do you think of the Boy Scouts officially sanctioning our (lucky) youths’ love of video games? Let’s see a show of hands from the jealous over-20s crowd in the house who’d love to turn back time right about now."
Source: Mashable
What do I think?? Ridiculous.

I just read that obesity is creating a problem for recruiting soldiers fit to fight and is considered a national security issue.

Finding peace officers as well is becoming a problem.  A full 1/3 of potential recruits fail the physical test in Washington. 

Video games go hand in hand with obesity. We should be encouraging our youth to get off the couch, hiking the outdoors, learning hands on skills like knots so our husband can tie that load of stuff you hadn't planned on buying from IKEA to our car without losing half of it on the freeway, and camping.

It's a little know fact that you can actual increase your entering rank with an Eagle Scout in the U.S. Army.  Enter video game badge?  Sigh.  Downward trend for sure.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Boobcakes or Boobquakes: It's all for a Good Cause

My wonderful husband just told me it's boobquake day.  

Hmmmm....When did he grow  a political conscience?  

Turns out it is some test to disprove an Iranian cleric’s theory that immodest dress has the power to make the Earth shake. "Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Iranian media quoted Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi as saying.

What a dill weed to blame the woman for a man's choices and actions? Pathetic.

Speaking of pathetic? Personally? I think CG's political conscience just equates to looking at boobs.

Scout does Cleavage for a Good Cause

 Okay, it is for a good cause because that douche in Iran is just a boob.  Period.

Check it out on Faceboob.  Err, I mean the Facebook Boobquake page.
And my friends? I never thought I'd say this, but I am looking forward to checking out your boobies!!

 Update: My FB profile pic:

Friday, April 23, 2010

Giada Rhymes with Giardia: Both are Dirty

Guess what my husband's afternoon plans were?  What?  Take the kids to swimming after a rough, emotional draining week for me you say?

Uh, no.

He plans to stand in line at his hated Costco to see this tomato slut in Issaquah:

Seriously?  Seriously.

My thoughts? 

She is an embarassment to the chef profession.  If this is the only way you can sell cookbooks, you aren't far from the oldest profession in the world. Besides, can we say airbrushed to the extreme??

My husband also has a thing for Rachel Ray. In my search to show him how dirty Giardia is which I am sure he already knew, we came across these:

How pathetic. Now I know why he has had a thing for Rachel in years. I thought he was over it when he tweeted this recently:


Do you see Tom Colicchio, or Wolgang Puck, or even hot little Jamie Oliver selling their bodies for exposure?

Um, no. Tom would not approve me thinks.

Her behavior is just demeaning to women who have worked hard to be taken seriously. Sadly, Tom's co-host Padma also has fallen under the pressure to be exploited:

Even worse?

It seems Giardia's time is so precious that "The author will sign up to two books per person; due to the number of attendees and time constraints, de Laurentiis will not write personalized messages in the books."

Well, aren't we miss thing.  Buy my books and I will deign to sign them with the least amount of effort possible after you stand in line for hours to look at my boobs.

I might have seemed adamant in my insistance she was a less than desirable person to buy a $20 cookbook from just to get an autograph.

CG asked for clarification if I would be mad if he went. He asked me if I was telling him he couldn't go.

I told him to do what he thought was the right thing.  Make the best decision....

He's in his office now sulking.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

GLEE & HULU Sitting in a Tree

Ooooh, yummy!!

Squee!  Glee is back....

Sad, sad squee...

Guess whose Tivo did not record it? Guess who discovered this fact it last night when she sat down to watch?  Damn you American Idol for messing with the time. Le sigh...but wait!!

Happy squee!  It's now on Hulu:

This is where I'll be if you need me.  

Hulu, I puffy heart adore you!

Tivo?  Bite me!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Interloper: Squabbles, Differences, & Abandonment

Isn't it funny how you can take a crisp packet of seeds, add sprinkles of water, the sun's warmth, fragrant dark soil, and they all grow to be the very same thing?

 Source: by nerdcoregirl

Take carrots for example.  They may have a crook here, a longer stalk there, one might be a bit juicier, and several more bitter, but?  Yep, still all carrots. Not a beet among them.

  Source:by thespeak

Yet, take the same house, parents, food, childhood, and school systems, and the results are vast, shocking...

...and, yes, heart-breaking.

Some might say, no worries, on their own, they are different, but together a delicious fusion of flavors can be made in the form of the salad.

Others see the beet as an invader to the homogeneity of the carrots.  

An interloper.  


It's added flavor foreign and undesirable. 

It does not taste or act like a carrot.

It is red.  It requires different care.  It {gasp} tolerates non-vegetables.  Goat cheese!  

It likes acid soil and even coffee grounds rather than the chemically sweet Miracle Grow that satisfies the rest.

Worse? It likes to be marinated. Heretical!


I'm the beet.  Discarded like an offal seed that a crow maliciously discarded in flight in the garden. 

I try to avoid conflict.  I try not to offend.  I try to disagree respectfully and then back away from group plans because I know our perspectives are different. I try to ignore the snubs and lack of invitations.

And still ? They go out of their way to whisper behind my back and shout insults in public forum. They try to put barbs and lay traps where they feel will  hurt the most. 

Worse for me?  There's someone who also often feels left out.  Feels different.  Someone also snubbed. Someone for whom I have thrown behind me,  to protect from the insults, criticism, and judgment, to take the barb and the wrath. To have had her back so often, been a listening, sympathetic ear to only discover that perhaps our similarities do not necessarily extend to her feeling the need to do the same for me. That she would rather walk away.  Avoid. Fake it with the carrots?  It hurts. I hope I am wrong.

I feel abandoned. 

But for my big stinky onion of a brother (Love you!!) and well-meaning parents,  I would be lost to this garden from once I came. As I feel now, I would walk away.

It has come to me that sadly, at this point, nothing can be done for the beets and carrots.  Their skins are thick and nothing new can be absorbed.


Yet? I embrace being a beet.

It is clear to me that I can only be the gardener for my own children. Allow differences.  Revel in texture. Realize differences can complement. I will rejoice the salad now. Make their childhood the dressing to marry the flavors and bring community.

...And love them and teach them to love and accept each other even if they turn out to be onions, celery, and parsnips.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Teaching Me Once Again To Never Judge a Book...

Wow!  Never would have guessed that voice came from him.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Nightmares, Monsters, and....Snails

Li'l Man scared the bejesus out of me last night. 

Screaming at top of lungs. 

Thought the kid was on fire. 

Nope.  Just a nightmare of the boogey man grabbing his foot and pulling him down under his bed and into "dark water." 

My multiple checks under his bed did not convince him. In fact? He actually started to convince me there really was something under there.

I hesitated to put my hand under the bed to show him there wasn't anything there.  Timid with hand, but with lots of verbal bravado, I did my best.

What if he really does see "dead people??" Of course, CG is on a business trip and isn't back until today.

Ack!  We slept in my bed rest of night and I closed his door just in case...

Why couldn't he have had his usually nightmare about snails.  Snails I can handle. Heh!

So have any of your kid's nightmares been so convincing, their fear and conviction so real, that you thought twice?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Cream Puffery

Walked/ran 7+ miles today! So proud of myself.

830 calories... only to be making chocolate cream puffs with the kids after dinner tonight to eat whilst watching American Idol.

Something tells me just one of these delicious cream puffs is easily 800 calories.

But really, what is American Idol without cream puffery?

Or maybe marshmallow fluff would be more appropriate?

Seven miles forward, one cream puff back... Tomorrow is a new day.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Totally Something CG Would Do


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