United States of Motherhood: May 2010

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Yay Bacon & Blood {Eyebrow Raise}

Have I mentioned I was a vegetarian when I met my husband?

Have I mentioned he was a straight-edge, no alcohol, no sex guy.

Yep, no meat for me. No cocktails and sex for him.

Heh, that lasted five minutes when our wonder twin embrace turned him into a cocktail guzzling sex loon and me into meat, meat, meat is good.

He obviously was a bad influence. Heh!

It didn't hurt I have this crazy woman issue that has made me constantly anemic since high school. Yep, I was the one who always got turned down at blood drives. My blood wasn't good enough. (cough, cough)

CG's on the other hand? He is a blood-giving fiend. Every 56 days, he has an appointment. He has super O+ blood with special antibodies, so he saves premature babies and elderly grannies with a drip of that super red coursing through his veins.

Honestly, CG uses my period to have steak night. Seriously.

Over the years, I've tried to get back to less meat and more healthy eating. CG undermines me.

Undermines me.

And his latest thing this last few YEARS is bacon.

As in bacon popcorn.

Bacon salt.

Bacon Vodka.

Bacon, bacon, bacon. Thick, slab bacon. All in our pantry. Well not the raw bacon because that is just wrong.

So this video is in his honor:

So, so wrong.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Reversal of Female Genital Mutilation Opinion for AAP

In April, the American Academy of Pediatrics(AAP) proffered an acceptable scenario where some physicians might nick a female child's clitoris in order to "satisfy cultural requirements."

Seriously? They actually likened it to getting their ears pierced.

Photo by Robert Skinner

CNN reports:

"Up to 140 million women and children worldwide have been affected by female genital cutting, according to the World Health Organization. Any process that alters or injures female genitalia for non-medical purposes is considered to be female genital cutting, the group says."

Outrage on the Internet was immediate.

Yesterday, they had a change of heart. A reversal. It seems, upon further introspection, the group was able to clarify that nicking a female's genitals (child or adult) was prohibited in the 1996 in a law banning female genital mutilation.

Oops. Perhaps someone didn't do their homework in this effort to appease culture sensitivities over the health and possible harm of the patient and to ignore a doctor's Hippocratic oath to first do no harm.

CNN also states that, "In the U.S., an estimated 228,000 women have been cut -- or are at risk of being cut -- because they come from an ethnic community that practices female genital cutting."

So very wrong.

So, for now AAP clarified on Thursday that they will not condone doctors performing any variation of "clitoral nick."

As a woman and a mother, this makes me want to scream just like the little girl in the picture above by Robert Skinner. What were these so called medical health professionals thinking in the first place???

Deadlines, Excuses, & Deeper Thoughts


I had no idea how adding work deadlines to my life at the same time as the kids' school year ends with requisite projects would throw me for a loop. Add a Canadian travel meet, coordinating teacher scrapbook and now end of the year gifts...

And sadly? Those and many other reasons have made it a challenge to write here.

Don't give up on me! I have taken to carrying a notebook in my purse which is brimming with writing ideas.

It's all about finding the time to regale you with scintillating observations on life. Yep, I am sure you are on the edge of your seats with bated breath for my thoughts on my toes.

In the meantime, want deeper thoughts?

Pssst, go visit me at The Stir at CafePress.

Yep, it's getting spicy over at my paid gig. Come on over, pretty please. I'd love your comments whether you agree with me or not.

Clicky, clicky my friends and don't forget to check out the comments. These posts are eliciting some very spicy comments. Very spicy indeed!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

San Antonio Baby Near Miss With Bus at Midnight

This video below had my heart in my throat. This blows my mind at what could have happened. Honest mistake or should her kids be taken?

Honest mistake? Thoughts?

On My Way to Being a Working Woman

No, pashaw, not that kind of working woman!

Nope, Scout's got a paid gig talking news, Op/Ed's and politics at CafeMom's The Stir.

Do a girl a favor and go check it out m'kay?

Need some incentive?

It's a spicy little piece about immigration:

No worries! This blog where I can talk my mind, examine belly button lint, and babble about all and sundry will always be my first love, but I am ecstatic to be embarking on a new PAID adventure. Did I mention PAID? Heh! Holy burritos, Batman, I might be able to spring for sushi more than once a week.

Hurry up, go check it out and leave me a comment there...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Childhood Obesity: Corporate Help?

Childhood. Obesity.

Two words we hear thrown around way too often in today's media. As parents, it's easy to become numb to it's sway. We try. We enroll our kids in positive sports programs. We avoid the high-fructose corn syrup and calorie-laden fast foods.

We do our best.

Yet? The advertising is hard to combat.

Our kids are bombarded with slick ads for sugary treats and they in turn bombard us with pleas until we weaken. Even simple word of mouth at school of the latest trendy snack takes a powerful hold. Your child wants to have those Lunchable nachos, or that new Pop Tarts flavor or even the new extreme flavor Dorrito, or yes, gotta have the pseudo-healthy XXX Vitamin water.

photo by @wyane

My kids are healthy, adventurous eaters. We know this. However, they don't necessarily feel popular with their whole wheat wraps with hummus that seemed fine during the summer. They often succumb to the peer pressure of wanting to fit in or wanting a infrequent treat.


At the end of the day, who doesn't give in occasional to the drive through McDonalds or crack open a half-gallon of Dreyer's Good Stuff?

We are not immune nor perfect as parents.

The manufacturing industry, whether by corporate moral obligation or or more likely political threat of state snack taxes encroaching on their bottom line has been swayed as well. A CEO-led organization called The Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation launched a campaign last year to partner with families to reduce childhood obesity through 2015. The hook is moderation, not deprivation. Balance. The plan is to use those powerful advertising tools to educate in the marketplace, schools, and the work place about energy balance as a path to a healthy weight.

Better yet, in an effort to reduce childhood obesity, sixteen of the America's largest food manufacturers encompassing am much as 25 percent of the nation's food products, has promised they will remove 1.5 trillion calories out of their products by 2015 in an effort to reduce childhood obesity. The goal is to join the fight to reduce childhood obesity by cutting both fat, calories, and portion sizes in their products.

photo by Scoobyfoo

All this mother can say is it's about time the food manufacturers stood with us, not against us.

Yet, my mind wanders to their influence. Is a smaller, single serving of crackers, chips, or similarly-processed food better than apple? Is a more moderate serving of a food manufactured and shipped weeks or months before it is eaten better than a homemade peanut butter-honey sandwich made with local honey and bread.

Please don't get me wrong. Believe me, I am no food Nazi. I just hate the daily whine for foods our family will never buy which gets increasingly louder as my kids move toward their teenage years.

I guess, in the end, these are at least small steps in the right direction. I think. What are your thought on smaller-portioned, lower calorie snack packs?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Beyonce and Lingerie-Clad Little Girls: So Very Wrong

Have you seen this yet? Watch it. I'll wait...

Remember when I got all up in arms about H&M's sexy kids campaign? My reaction this time?

Well at least H &M kids were clothed.

Have the parents of these little eight year olds who are wearing suggestive, lingerie style costumes and bumping, grinding and gyrating to Beyonce, lost their ever living minds?

Where were their parents? Where do we draw the line at inappropriate?

One parents said this was all a matter of context and that their routine at a dance competition was never meant for a national audience.

Sweetheart? These days, if it's recorded, it's online and once online, it's there to stay.

My opinion? These parents have neglected their parental obligation to protect their young children. To me? This is beyond questionable taste and more in line with child protective services.


Remember my post on my ladybug toes this morning. I didn't mention the really lewd and lascivious comments my husband received. My friends? There are really sick people out there.

As a blogger, I can handle it because I am a grown adult and I have chosen to blog. However, these kids? These baby girls?

I can only imagine what salacious motivation this video gives to child predators.

My Lady Bug Toes Made the Front Page of Google

These are my feet.

Nothing special.

Lady bugs.

Painted by CG. Pic taken by CG and carelessly put on Flickr. Never shared or promoted, but made public.

I recently discovered that 15,000 people had viewed this picture.

Google "lady bug toes." It comes up on the front page of Google Images.

What. The. Ever. Living. Hell.

{Scouts shakes her head and walks away}

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Issaquah Farmer's Market: Beautiful Rejects

I spent my Saturday morning, resplendent with bright sunshine, at the farmer's market with my little family.

We perused gorgeous blooms whilst nibbling on fresh, sweet kettle corn.

We lazily strolled through the crafts and the compost stations with equal delight.

We sampled local grown apples and oohed and ahhed over the stained glass.

Then we came to the tomato stand.

Oh, such glorious heirloom varieties with names like Brandywine. Perhaps imperfect in form, but glorious in taste.

Then, off to the side sat the rejects. The imperfect of the imperfects.

PB's eyes went to a most imperfect, odd specimen. So proud of her.

Not at all what one thinks of beauty, is it? Bulging, huge, tumescent.

Some might say very different from the basket. Different from all the perceived beauty at the market.

Some ignore the taste potential for the form. Ignore the two plus pounds of juicy goodness for the horrible grotesque nature of it's outsides. It's inability to fit in.

We did not.

We had to have it. A bargain at half the price. It indeed made the most delicious of salads.

It's sad really how often such bargains are overlooked in the market and in life. Those who do not fit in, are culled in the supermarket and yes, even at the less outward discerning farmer's market, for those that reflect the right posturing. Some that might even enjoy the salad are pressured to choose only the tomatoes that meet the definition of their perfection. They ignore what they might have loved.

Sad, isn't it?

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Mama Bear: Dealing with Stubborn Kids (VIDEO)

You know when your kids make you so mad that you want to shake them? But you don't.

When they were toddlers and you said, "Come here," in the parking lot and they ran the other way directly into the path of a car and made your heart leap into your mouth?

When they deliberately hide from you in the clothes racks at department stores, despite your panic-stricken calls?

You are not alone, my friend.


No, you are not alone. Heh!

Friday, May 14, 2010

And We Shall Call him Buttons: Dog Piercings and Other News

Yes, these are exactly what you think they are.

Seb had a hematoma in his ear. We are unsure of the origin, but given how the old pup loves to curl up under foot and has lost his spry self-protective instinct with his hearing, we think someone inadvertently stepped on him.

No one fessed up.

{Flinty-eyed Mommy squint}

The result? The vet said surgery. She mentioned buttons at the consult.

I thought buttons meant layman's terms for some fancy technical surgical procedure like a nip or tuck.

Silly, silly me.

Umm, so he comes back $700 later with buttons. Real buttons. On either side of his ear.

Well... buttons and I had the mole on his ear removed (being biopsied as we speak--please don't let it be skin cancer my heart says), another mole on his leg, a cyst on his neck and had his nail trimmed and his teeth cleaned while he was under.

Yep, a full service tune up for the ol' guy.

He couldn't walk when we left the vet.

Eighty-five lbs of loopy dead weight who would stand up, lurch, spin, and flop on to the floor in fits. Like a wild elephant after being darted and awoken.

Still drowsy and in a Franken-dog state today.

I even requested a ghastly skin tag be removed from his elbow. Yep, purely cosmetic. Heh! Might as well since he was under, right?

Speaking of cosmetic? These buttons are growing on me. I wonder if we can keep them in and call him Buttons?

I fancy that it fits him. The vet techs said when he woke up from the anesthesia, he sang to them. No, really sang to them. Not your average howl or bark. Nope she mentioned it was this very odd noise, "Like the sounds made by a baby elephant."

Yep, wild elephant. Or maybe with the comedic, drowsy spinning and loopy eyes, circus elephant.

Definitely buttons!

Poor Seb! The indignity!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Where I Spent My Friday??

With my hawt husband of course.

...and rocking Li'l Man.

Yep, those are my shades. We had usually good weather in Seattle and my little vampire did not fare well in it.

CG took some great pics on his post.

Check it out his blog.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Scents of Motherhood

PB: Mom!


PB: Mommy!

She talks quietly, yet insistently to be heard in the darkened room in which I was having a deep conversation on the telephone.

She usually would not interrupt.

She knows not to interrupt.

It must be important.

PB: Mom.

[Pausing my conversation]
Me: Yes?
[Simply]PB: I smell like you.

She smiles happily, content that her message was relayed.

Me: What?
PB: I smell like your scent. I used your shampoo and conditioner and soap in the shower and now I smell like you.

She luxuriates in the smell of her wet hair put to her nose and breathes it in.

I smile.

I immediately remember my mom's smell.

I used to love to nuzzle her neck. Distinctive. Only my mom smelled that way.

So comforting. So peaceful. I had forgotten.

And now? My PB was taking the same comfort. The same pleasure in smelling like me.

So sweet that I didn't even chide her for interrupting.


I wish I could smell my mom right now...

Many thx for flick pic by Arlette

Thursday, May 6, 2010


Source: by Joelk75


As a mother, this hurts my heart. If any of my three children turn out to be gay which is not looking likely, they still know that nothing will ever, ever change.

I will love them forever.

Can you say the same?

Just in case, please tell them this often. Tell them you accept them for who they are, not what you would wish them to be. This applies to everything about them. Everything.


It would end so much hurt in this world if there was just a little more acceptance.

Many, many thanks for the Flickr pic by Joelk75

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Filed Under Another WTF Happened to Miley Cyrus and Christina Aguilera

My 13 year old son is so wise beyond his years.  He walks by as this below plays on my laptop.  I sit there and am open-mouth shocked.

His response?

"I can see why she's not on Hannah Montana anymore"

My response?

Her husky, country twang will never be Lady Gaga and when did slut come so into fashion?  Case in point, Christina Aquilera's latest.



CG: What was that Tom Cruise movie called where they were throwing all their cocktails  and making cocktails?

[hand motion of cocktail shaker]

Me: Uhhh?  "Cocktail."

Sometimes, he makes it too easy to mess with my husband of two degrees. Heh!

Update: He just saw this and gave me the two-fisted bird and  tongue stick out of this video. Mature!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Civil Discourse: Wanted Moderate Republicans

What ever happened to civil discourse?  Seriously, as a conservative, I am embarrassed by this behavior:

Did I agree with the health care plan pushed through by the Obama presidency and Democrat-lead Congress.  Um, no.  For fiscal reasons, no. For my children's future, no.

However, this is not the intelligent way to protest where people will listen. This will not bring about the change for which I had hoped.

Calling people "dumbass," shouting words seething with anger, booing, and using the bird?  

This is the ugly, unwashed masses.

People, I have always been proud to be Republican, but lately?  Lately, I am embarrassed and bitter that birthers, religious nuts, and crazies like this mother on the video represent my party.

As a favorite blogger friend of mine Joe mentioned who is Democrat, it is the same as if PETA took over the Democratic party.  Would you liberal readers want all of PETA's policies to stand for you?

What ever happened to moderation? What happened to that aforementioned civil discourse? 

I understand there is anger in the Republican party of being shut out of the decision-making process.  I understand the bitterness of all President Obama's campaign promises of transparency and bi-partisanship being hollow promises.

However, you are casting this ugly pall on our party that will not help us in the polls.  This will never win back any independants.  In fact, this makes me want to leave the party altogether.

So, I ask disheartened,  are there any moderate Republicans left?

Anyone out there?

Any moderate Republican bloggers?

Send me an email at Scout[at}unitedstatesofmotherhood[dot}com.  I would love to write  a post on you because right now the media is only showing the ugly, far right of our party lashing out and we've become  a joke.


Lust, Obessesion, & Leafy Good Herbs: I Can't Quit You!

Source: by alberto_as
I confess.

I have had this long lasting, lusty relationship with a special something that at times repels certain people.  

It's an obsession.

I got to have it.

Bunches and bunches.  I have been know to use whole fistfuls with abandon.  Whole bags!

I call it...

 Source: by Saucy Salad


{Okay, well you all probably call it cilantro unless you are one of those weirdos that call it coriander. Heh!}

What?!  You thought I was talking about another good herb?  Pashaw, my friends.  Pashaw!  Cilantro is where it is at!

Indescribable goodness in homemade pico de gallo? PB and I eat cups of this at a time:

 Source: by CandyTX

The list goes on with amazing spicy Indian curries, Thai salads, in Greek couscous...drooling now.

Chimichurri on a char-grilled steak anyone?

Cooking light has one of the best known recipes to man as pictured above.  Yes, it is even more amazing than it looks.

Lust for cilantro aside?

I know some have immediate distaste for it.  

Luckily, everyone in our family likes cilantro...well except my father-in-law.  

Now given the information above,  I feel a bit guilty always sneaking in cilantro into dishes when he claimed to hate it when I first met him.  He always liked the dish I made until he found out cilantro was in it.  Heh!  Call me evil.  I just couldn't understand why he could hate what I love.

Now, I do.  Bed bugs? Not so tasty?

 Source: by louento.pix 

Actually, given the link above, I shall now call it reconditioning him à la try it Mikey and eventually you'll like it.  He may have been born a cilantro hater, but he can change, or so says the article.

All this is fine, but the note that was sent to me with the link is what is alarming me.  There is a new study out that claims cilantro damages DNA:

"In the column I don't mention the recent study from Reyes et al (last reference below), which reports that cilantro leaf extracts damage DNA, and therefore that cilantro could be a long-term health hazard. These are very preliminary findings and no reason for fans to give up cilantro, but it's a subject worth following as more information comes in."


Say it ain't so.  I gave up sacchrine, aspartame, Diet Coke, and even white sugar in my coffee because of bad food ju-ju.  But cilantro?  

Lovely, leafy cilantro?

I can't quit you cilantro!


Monday, May 3, 2010

A Conservative Mother & Gun Control? Get Out!

As a conservative, I believe in the right to bear arms.


I feel that it is an integral right in this country that should never be abolished.

Likewise my fellow former Army officer husband feels just as strongly.

Gun control tends to annoy us.

However, it also enrages me as a mother when I hear a child was shot and fatally wounded by a police officer.

How could they?

How hard is it to tell the difference between a water gun and a Glock?

Ummm, apparently very hard.  Have you seen these from the Baltimore Police Department's website:

And these:

There is absolutely no reason weapons should ever, ever look like this:

This is beyond wrong.  When you can find colors like Lavender, O' Sherbet, and Sunburst on weapons?

Police Officers now must make split decisions with great peril to themselves to decide if a young preteen is carrying something that will take his life or just squirt him in the face or shoot a Nerf foam bullet.

Of course, self-preservation dictates he choose himself.

Did I mention my grandfather was a police officer?

Never, ever should weapons look like these.

As a mother, I say this needs to stop. As a granddaughter of a  law enforcement officer, I say this needs to stop. As a conservative?  I say these need to be banned.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Whining About Wine

I sit here this morning lazily sipping coffee and perusing witty posts on my blogroll.

One is a wine blog stumbled to me. One merely mentions wine at a wedding.  Lots of wine.  

Note: No wine was actually pictured in this last post. Just a mention.

My response?  Drool.

Seriously eight AM and drooling.

Yes, this is indicative of a problem. Sigh. 

The problem being I can't get my drink on like I used to because of this stoopid thing called my leevah.

So onward I live vicariously through others and yes, drool this Sunday morning for red wine.  


Blog Notes: Many thanks for the pic by Arlo Bates

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