Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Click Here! Warren Jeffs: Polygamist, Accomplice to Rape, Free Man


Read the rest at Cafemom's The Stir.

Please, Texas? Get it right and do a better job than Utah, m'kay? This polygamist rapist and accomplice to rape needs to go down. Let's put the pressure on for no more technicalities. Your thoughts?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Telecommuting With Kids on Summer Break: Oh the Embarrassment

My husband CG has successfully worked from home for five years. Diligently, he has tapped on the keyboard and taken conference calls whilst kids and dogs have played under foot to pay our mortgage.

He enjoys the raucous sounds of the kids and has often poo-poo-ed my hushing nature. He abhors when I close the office door to shield him from the noise of three rambunctious kids on summer vacation.

Today however?

Today, he met his match with a swimming teenager who is tapering for a big meet.

One who is used to a mind-numbing three hours daily practice which has been whittled down to a spare 90 minutes.

One who is far too wound up with energy, along with his siblings, to know what to do with himself.

We are past the day three cranky, aggressive stage of out taper that our coach predicted and have hustled to the hysterical mania of kids seemingly on a Tigger high. All that stored energy in his lithe body wants an outlet.

Bouncy! Loud! Obnoxious!

Cackling like Hyenas!

I've given up. I am beyond expletives and am just laughing along.

CG? Not so much.

Why? While I washing the lunch dishes, having filled our little pistons with more energy with thick slabs of tasted rosemary bread with hunks of yellow tomato and roasted turkey, Eldest got a little punchy.

Well, punchy and flatulent it seems.

He ran into the office, apparently mid-conference call, and before CG could push mute, he dropped drawers, spread cheeks, and let loose a roaring monster of a anal volcano!

All the kids said they could hear the laughter on the other end of the call.

CG? Not laughing.

Somehow he doesn't think having his peers and boss think he must be the most gassy windbag on the planet is very professional.

Ahhhh... he finally feels my pain.

My thoughts? At least he wasn't on a video conference call.

Maybe he'll let me close that office door after all...

Friday, July 23, 2010

Kill This Mommy Now: Losing Privileges & Summer Mayhem

Mochacoffee sent me this and it couldn't have come more timely. I had just screamed my head off and even used some heavy expletives (Don't you dare judge me! Heh!) at my kids after coming home from two hours of swim practice and an overly long Costco trip.


[video]


Yep, maybe I'll tell them this. Okay, you lose a mommy.

Sadly, after my screeching, they might just take me up on that. Help!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Shirley Sherrod: Race, Resignation, and Reality

The NCAAP and the Obama administration are so quick to scream racism. Ridiculous!
Read more at Cafemom.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

NSFW: Christian Bale VS Mel Gibson's Battle of the Douches



And suddenly, Christian Bale comes off as a charming ol' slobberknocker next to Mel Gibson.

Mel?

Psst Mel?

Yes, you abusive, crazy, insane, hyperventilating so much I wonder what you are on, douche of a man?

You are dead to me. I have plenty of energy to drive over there to the movie theater and not take my wallet out to buy tickets for your movies.

That is all!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Bye, Bye Burqas, Summer Sux & Other News...


Summer sucks.

It just does. See this big kid to the left? Thirteen years old and 5'11" ? Yep, big kid equals bigger messes. Don't believe the lie that it gets easier as they get older.

Lies. Bloody lies. Heh!

My house is trashed! Trashed. I always think it will get easier and always find myself more overwhelmed.

My laundry room is so trashed the dog thinks it's his permanent bed.

There is a mountain of clothes that's been there for two weeks and I am never home to do it since we leave for swim at 5: 30.

Yes, 5:30 AM.

Yep, life of a swim mom. Speaking of, I stayed up until 3 AM last Thursday making food for Teen Party. Isn't it pretty:




Yep, two hours making pizza dough, black bean salad, homemade cream sauce, chocolate pies, rice crispy sushi, and much more only for 32 teenagers to gobble it up in about 8 minutes. Heh!

Then spent whole Friday decorating, setting up, feeding, blowing up 130 air balloons and filling 300 water balloons. They also took about 8 minutes to demolish before they started throwing ice and, yes, even the ice chests at each other. Teenagers!

And pie eating contests? Yep, chocolate pudding pies are a bitch to clean off upholstery. Just saying I was glad it was a swim team function so I didn't have to put down a security deposit. Ooopsie!

Still? It was crazy, and fun, and so tiring. Better yet? Volunteer hours completed for recreational swim team. Yeah me!

Starting this Thursday, I have 7 straight days of swim meets--most of which are all day long. Sigh. silly us on two swim teams. One day we will get our priorities straight...or more likely my eldest will get his license and take over driving duty.

In which case, I will fall to my knees and throw quaking arms in the air and thank the driver's license gods. Heh!

In the meantime, I did manage through yesterday's meet and sick kid all night and 5 AM wake up to post this at CafeMom:


This issue had me thinking one thing and convinced of the opposite by the end. I honestly don't know what is right.

Thoughts?

Happy freaking summer, y'all!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Patriotic Toes Courtesy of Salon Scout

Welcome to Salon Chez Scout~ come on in and see what has me walking with a limp:

Yep, these are PB's done by moi:


Yep, these are Li'l Man's:

Hey! Don't judge. He loves his nails painted and they are quite dashing with his red, white, and blue mohawk!

Only three hours laying on the cold, hardwood floors to get these babies done. Now my own toesies?

Sadly lacking. Decided laundry and making salads for the 4th party we are going to tonight was more worth it.

So, in ending, Happy 4th of July. Take the time to thank all those soldiers away from their families, festivities, and fireworks that make it all possible.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Must. Have. These.

Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. Want!

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