Yep, before the stunning, modern Chantilly dress (which shhh I don't really like that much) and sweet William whispers of "I love you," and "You look boo-ti-ful," we look at what could have been:
"I bet you WISH you had the metabolism to eat this, hater! I'm ten years old!”
"In the wise words of Lady Gaga, yes, baby, you were born that way. However, there's no compelling argument that you deserve better than everyday citizens. You made your bed. You committed your crime as a man. Now live with it ... as a man. Man up!"
My husband is trolling on Facebook and calls me over and wildly stabs a finger in the general direction of his laptop screen. His eyes are wild and wide like only those a father of a daughter can have.
Something tells me she thought Victoria Secret was perfume and lip gloss. Those panties above are from their teen centric
Just when I relax a bit as a mother of a gorgeous baby girl, something comes along that whacks me up side of my head.
My latest Op/Ed piece at The Stir:
Combine shortening, peanut butter, brown sugar, milk and vanilla in large bowl. Beat with stand mixer at medium speed until well blended. Add egg. Beat just until blended. Combine flour, cocoa, salt and baking soda. Add to creamed mixture at low speed. Mix just until combined.
Melt chocolate chips on high for 1 minute to 1 minute 30 seconds. Start at one minute and then stir with fork and put back in microwave, as needed, in 10 second increments stirring each time. When thin and runny, drizzle on cookies with fork, flicking wrist.
Aren't kitties to eat? Nom, nom?
My teenager is watching TV tonight. A Cialis Ad for erectile dysfunction comes on.
I am a super mom.
Puzzled, I wondered had they forgotten they had a more convenient commode upstairs? Yet I didn't catch on that, perhaps, all was not well on the home front.
Suffice it to say, our adorable mad shitter did not fess up. In the meantime, a certain younger child continued to use those facilities. Use them he did, until our suburban commode was turned into all the archaeological layers of a pitt toilet.
I screamed. I admit, I freaked. I instructed the kids in a very terse, tight, and barely controlled voice how to unplug the toilet. I then supervised them cleaning ever single freaking inch of that bathroom.
My son just ate FOUR Eggo waffles, swimming in syrup and wallowing in peanut butter.
Winning!
We are a Scrabble family. We love it. We play it on vacation. We play it on holidays. We can be pretty competitive, but it's mostly for fun. We also occasionally play "cheat" scrabble where we look up words. It's a fantastic way to learn new words for both the kids and even adults.
My youngest son inquired about the new vanilla soy milk in the fridge yesterday. He tries it and, not surprisingly, he likes it. No surprise there. He likes new foods.
Him: Curious George.
Yes, of course that's what he would remember from a book that we haven't read since he was five. So amusing the stuff that kids absorb when we least expect it.
