United States of Motherhood: December 2013

Monday, December 16, 2013

Teen Girl Under $20 Gift Guide: FIVE Gifts to Please Any Girl ((and great for moms too))

Having a 14 year old daughter myself, it's often difficult to find something cute and affordable.  The following are sure bets...and I bet most mom's of teens would love them too!

Yes, a pink (or blue, or black or silver) lipstick-sized phone charger for Apple or Android cell phones for the Instagram maniac or Snap-chatting silly in your life whose battery is always dead when you need to call her. Yes...like actually talk on the phone. Did I mention it is on sale for $19 and free shipping?

Moving on to the cozy.  You can never go wrong with this light-weight crinkle scarf.  Pick her favorite color.  Better yet at $8.99, pick two.  Even better, if she wants a different color?  Depending on the color, free returns!!

Something sparkly, but simple. Yes, these fit the bill. Sterling Silver two Carat Cubic Zirconia Stud Earrings.  With shipping, they end up being less than eight bucks!

How about a leather bracelet?  A handmade raw genuine leather cuff bracelet  under SIX bucks! So stylish and cute!

Last but not least, this set of Eos lip balms.  This definitely made my daughter's Amazon wishlist this year.

    Happy Holidays!! Happy Shopping!!    

Disclosure: I was not compensated to write this post.  As always I only offer my honest opinions.  That said, I have used affiliate links to Amazon products and if you purchase, I might earn a few pennies for chocolate in our stocking stuffers. Thank you in advance! :)

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Five Fast & Fresh Paleo Lunch Recipes: Paleo Avocado Spinach Egg Bowl (Series)

When you first go Paleo and/or gluten free, there is such confusion at lunch time.

No sandwiches. No crackers. No chips. No buns. No pasta. No cheese. No french fries.No ramen??


Pretty much everything I was eating since I was a toddler was out. However, there isn't a day that has gone by that has made me miss those ubiquitous American lunch items.

Instead making lunch has become fun and fast and sooo much more flavorful. Everything has more color and flavor with so much fewer ingredients.

Simple.These were several lunches I made on the fly over the past few weeks.  Each was less than 10 minutes to prepare.  Yes, paleo food can be fast food.

Paleo Avocado Spinach Bowl

2 tbsp coconut oil (or butter if you are primal)
2 cups baby spinach
1/2 cup mushrooms
1 whole avocado
1 egg

Optional: cracked pepper, Himalayan pink salt, sriracha

Warm sauté pan to medium heat. Slice mushrooms thickly. Lightly sauté thickly sliced mushroom 2 minutes in 1 tbsp coconut oil. Set aside.  In same pan, sauté spinach until barely wilted around 2 minutes. Set aside. Add 1 tbsp oil to pan and fry egg to desire cook time. While egg cooked, slice avocado into quarters and put in bowl.  Add mushrooms and spinach.  Top with egg.  Season with Himalayan salt, pepper, and Sriracha sauce as desired.

Start to finish 10 minutes or less!  Enjoy. Waaay better than the nasty PB&J.

Stay tuned for the next in the series: Paleo BATS Bowl (Bacon, Avocado, Tomato, Sriracha)

Salted Caramel Chocolate Bacon Bark

Yes, my husband made this last week.  Then he made it again.

Yes, I know life is unfair.  I know you all want husbands who make edible food, much less Salted Caramel Bacon Chocolate Bark.

Better yet?  It's PALEO, so I don't feel so guilty eating it.  Want to know more or send your husband to learn more? Go check out CG's blog here.

Happy bacon eating, people!! The holidays are only a short period, but bacon worship is year-round! Heh!

Need a quick gift? Harry & David Gift Sets are awesome! Even better, six more days of Amazon free shipping with minimum purchase. Get shopping:

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Women: Pink, Lipstick-sized Cell Phone Charger

Need the PERFECT stocking stuffer for a teen or wife? 

YES, wife because, ummm yes,  your partner is supposed to get something to fill your stocking.  It's only taken seventeen years of marriage to train CG to do this.


Anyway, my hint of the day is a pink, lipstick-sized cell phone charger.

Yummy, right?


 Feel free to share, pass on and tag your significant others...for their own good!!

Disclosure: I really, really, really want this and I bet you do too. That said, in full disclosure, this is an Amazon Affiliate link which means I might get a few pennies if you click the link and buy so if someone doesn't get my hint, I can buy it for myself!!  As always, I only honestly review and/or showcase products I love or want. WANT! All 

Ho, ho, ho!

Shop Amazon - The Electronics Holiday Gift Guide - Gifts Under $50

Panty Shaming


Yes, I am talking to you. You know who you are.


((Clint Eastwood squint))

Don't play innocent with me.

You ... the one who keeps wearing underwear WELL past it's due date.  No, not ripe drawers.  You know, more the type that keeps the moth-chewed lacy underthings long past when the elastic does it's job.

The kind that throws caution to the wind and puts hand wash, hang dry little scraps of VS into the dryer and then wears them with their elastic innards hanging like bloated little limbs from your thighs.  Their wires piercing you.  The fabric pilling.

The butt bunching like you took a little boo peep in your pants.

The one who constantly is pulling up her panties like a toddler.

Yeaaah, you.

I saw you at my door today.

You looked back at me in the entry way mirror.

Just, stop!

Go change, young lady.

Granny panties are not for us...ever!

Chest Hair, Nipple Tresses& The Unfairness Called LIFE

Holy crap! Life is NOT fair.

I may or may not have just found a CHEST HAIR on my person!!  As in connected.  Growing in it's maleficence.

And not a demure blond one, but a spider leggy, coarse black one. What the ever living...Arrrrrgh!!!

Plucked.  Gone. Kaput.

Yet it's memory lives on in my nightmares. Tell me it's not just me, riiiight??

Le Sigh!!

I guess the next stop is THIS:

Monday, December 9, 2013

Samsung TVs and Other Amazon Obscenities

I often tool around Amazon. Okay almost daily. In full disclosure, CG works there, but I was an Amazon addict around the same time as I became a Costco whore.

Yes, with three kids, once living in Alaska, shopping fast and bargain-basement cheap on the internetz is my specialty.

So many deals!! So much one-stop shopping done especially with Prime.

Yeah, I love Amazon so much we even got the credit card. Heh!

So when I saw THIS bargain today?


Speechless does not cut it.

Yep, that would be a TV for ohhhh just shy of $40,000 AMERICAN DOLLARS...on sale!

Go ahead. Check it out. I'll wait...

Whatchoo smoking Samsung & Amazon.com???

Okay, okay.  I get it.   I guess even Bill Gates needs bargain, riiiight? In the meantime, for us little people, we at least can enjoy the reviews:

"6,977 of 7,109 people found the following review helpful
By James O. Thach on November 25, 2013
My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery. We actually got a refurbished. It's missing the remote, but oh well-- for $10K off, I can afford a universal, right? The picture is amazing. I've never seen the world with such clarity.

Amanda, if you're reading this, hang in there, honey! We'll see you in a year.


I just wanted to add an addendum to my review. Since posting it, we have received a flood of responses. People have said some pretty hurtful things--even questioning our values. Let me assure you, this was not an easy decision to make, and we made it as a family. Obviously, it's very personal. But in light of all the second-guessing, I wanted to explain our thinking.

First and foremost, screen size. I really think you can't go too big. 85" may seem huge, but you get used to it fast. Second, resolution. Is 4K overkill? Please, that's what they said about 1080P! More dots = better. Period. And as far as this being a $40,000 "dumb" TV, people need to re-read my initial post: WE BOUGHT IT REFURBISHED. It was only $30,000.

Some of you may think I'm avoiding the "elephant in the room"-the real reason why this was such a heart-wrenching choice. So let's just get it out there. Yes, the 120 Hz refresh rate is a disappointment, especially on a 4K. But life is full of compromises. And frankly, we hardly notice. All in all, no regrets..."

Thursday, December 5, 2013

PSA: Kitty Creep Exists

PSA: Tip of the day, beware kitty creep. 

It's real. It's insidious. 

It starts out slowly...first a cute little head.  

Then closer...closer...closer still.  

Then suddenly BAM half your keyboard disappears. 



Entire laptop thievery, my friends. Forget your productivity for the day.  It's over.  Done. Kaput. 

Stop it before it stops youuuuu...

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