Deadlines, Excuses, & Deeper Thoughts

People!!

I had no idea how adding work deadlines to my life at the same time as the kids' school year ends with requisite projects would throw me for a loop. Add a Canadian travel meet, coordinating teacher scrapbook and now end of the year gifts...

And sadly? Those and many other reasons have made it a challenge to write here.

Don't give up on me! I have taken to carrying a notebook in my purse which is brimming with writing ideas.

It's all about finding the time to regale you with scintillating observations on life. Yep, I am sure you are on the edge of your seats with bated breath for my thoughts on my toes.

In the meantime, want deeper thoughts?

Pssst, go visit me at The Stir at CafePress.


Yep, it's getting spicy over at my paid gig. Come on over, pretty please. I'd love your comments whether you agree with me or not.


Clicky, clicky my friends and don't forget to check out the comments. These posts are eliciting some very spicy comments. Very spicy indeed!!

'lisciously scribed by Scout's Honor @ 10:08 AM 0 Witty Comments For Me

Why I Forgot My Homework: Camouflaged!

Sigh.

Li'l man forgot his homework yesterday...

...again!

The kid is so scattered.

I mention it to CG.


His response was,

"Duh!  It's camouflaged."

Right you are, dear.

Right you are.

'lisciously scribed by Scout's Honor @ 5:00 AM 0 Witty Comments For Me

Circular Logic & Exposed: I'm on to Me!

Remember I needed to make that ablation/hysterectomy decision months ago?

I've decided I am going to take baby steps.

Ablation it is.

Hysterectomy seemed so final and I worried about no more big "O's." Not that my period puts me in the mood that much anyway sadly for CG. Heh!

Just soo tired.

So decision made and yet, not scheduled?

Why? Someone stupidly became Li'l man's Halloween party mom, Swim Team Pool Representative, and PB's classroom coordinator.

CG did his best. Seriously by my side with my pen and sign up sheet in hand saying "No!" Friends suggested my previous convictions.

I didn't listen too well. Or maybe I did.

Seriously, it's an addiction.

Or perhaps...

Or perhaps a way to procrastinate.

A road block of my own making.

To blame volunteering for never getting my house clean. Never studying for the LSAT so I can get going on my personal dreams. For never losing weight. For never concentrating on me.

Never looking in the mirror.

Great avoidance technique, eh? Does this sound familiar to anyone? Perhaps not fixing period by ablation or other surgical technique so one can blame tiredness.

Maybe. Very circular.

So, Halloween funds are mostly collected so room coordinating pain is mostly done. Halloween party is next week. Pool rep? Well it's on-going but volunteering is a requirement for swim team membership so why not this way?

So, no more excuses. Must start studying. Must start exercising and dieting for liver. Must make appointment for ablation. Must get off butt and clean house.

I'm on to me!

Seriously. I'm on to me!

No more excuses.

So why am I still sitting at the laptop then you ask?

Tired.

Maybe when soul-sucking period is over too.

Did I mention today someone told me that anemia can cause fatty liver?

Circular as my butt.

Dropping my excuses and feeling naked.

Exposed.

Thx for Google images & flickr pics by prager.ws photoblog & by whizchickenonabun & by Christine ™

'lisciously scribed by Scout's Honor @ 4:00 AM 3 Witty Comments For Me

I Hate Myself as a Mother Right Now

He's lucky to have a big brother looking after him because his mother is useless...

I thought he had him. He thought I had him.

Turns out he was sleeping in unusually late.

He was left by himself in an empty house for 45 minutes this morning. I didn't realize until 20 minutes into the commute to get my eldest to swim practice that I wasn't sure who had him.

CG had taken PB to her early morning practice before we woke up. I called him in a panic and confirmed my fantastically huge error.

Yes, I am a fucktard mom. It's official. I could claim lack of sleep with an average of 3 hours a night this week. I could talk about being sick, but they are all excuses for something unexcusable.

I called home in a panic, hoping he'd pick up the phone, but no one answered. I tried over and over.

I hoped he'd still be asleep when I arrived home, but before I could get my keys out on the front porch, the lock clicked and the door opened.

Two teary, wounded blue eyes looked up at me in betrayal and then he crumpled into me. His little pudgy arms encircled my legs like they would never let go.

He made gaspy breaths.

His chest shuddered.

"Mommy, I was scared. I looked in every room for you."

My heart crushed. Yes, I left my little six year old boy entirely by himself while both CG and I were over 20 miles away.

My stomach churns as I think what could have happened. Fire. Burgulars. Accidents. Injuries.

I hate myself as a mother right now.

I live for my kids and, right now, I could just die for what I did. The guilt consumes me.

'lisciously scribed by Scout's Honor @ 10:53 AM 8 Witty Comments For Me